The Backlash
by justkillingtime
Summary: Bill knew there would be backlash, people who wouldn't be happy with him or approve of his life choices but he never thought anyone would come after his family. He didn't think they could actually get hurt.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is an idea I've had going through my head since the final. It's a kind of worse case scenario on what could have happened after the family's coming out. If you read it I'd love to know what you think. My hope is to have it all done before the show starts back on the 16****th****. Enjoy **

Summary: Bill knew there would be backlash, people who wouldn't be happy with him or approve of his life choices but he never thought anyone would come after his family. He didn't think they could actually get hurt.

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_**Prologue**_

_Slowly Margene pushed a trolley down the aisle of the supermarket, she had a love hate relationship with the task. She used to love getting out of the house but this last week had been different. She could feel people staring at her and it gave her an uneasy feeling._

_Today there was a couple, a man and a woman who were walking the same aisles as her in the opposite direction. This in itself wasn't unusual it often happened but the woman made a point of smiling at her every time she past. It seemed just a little too friendly._

"_That's a beautiful little girl you have there." The woman said speaking to her for the first time._

"_Thanks," Margene smiled back, she tried to push the trolley forward but at the last moment the woman grabbed her arm._

"_You don't deserve such a beautiful girl." The woman whispered to her. "I know who you are."_

_-8-8-8-_

Slowly Ben turned the car off the main road and began making his way towards their street. He'd ducked over to the store to buy ice-cream and milk. They didn't need either of them but he'd wanted an excuse to get out of the house and buying the supplies to make milkshakes was the best he could come up with. It has been tense in the house all day, all week really but worse today.

The family's coming out hadn't had the impact his father had hoped for, people were not welcoming the openness or even stopping to look at the family to see they really were quite normal. No the shear majority of people went straight to the stereotype, straight to hate. The family's businesses were starting to flounder and it was stressing everyone out.

Nikki had run away to The Compound two days ago, she said it was to help her mother and that was partly true but everyone knew she just wanted to get away from it all. His mom was spending most of her time at the casino. It was supposed to be their safety net but it wasn't safe, it had been under threat even before the coming out, now she was doing her best to stop it sinking but there was only so much she could do. His dad had been playing mediation with the media, he was trying to get their image right but it wasn't working and as a result he wasn't home. He many have been elected to the Utah state senate but their story had quickly gone national. Ben wasn't quite sure where he was now, New York he thought, or maybe LA, where was irrelevant really all that mattered was he wasn't there.

The only people holding up the fort at home were him and Margene. She'd put her business on hold and was doing her best to take care of the children while he filtered through threatening phone calls and letters. Some of them were pretty scary but the police didn't seem to think there was any substance to them. He was inclined to think the same but there had been an incident this afternoon which had really freaked Margene out. They'd had a fight about it before he'd left, she'd said she didn't want him going out by himself but he was pretty sure what she really meant was she didn't want him leaving her at the house by herself because he'd taken Teeny with him but it hadn't made her any happier.

"Please Benny don't go." She'd said to him. "We don't need milkshakes."

But then Wayne, Raymond, Lester and Aaron, had all started jumping up and down chanting, "milkshakes, milkshakes, milkshakes" and she'd had no choice but to say ok.

He rounded the final corner into their street.

"Ben, what's going on down there?" Teeny asked. He stared ahead and saw a mass of flashing lights.

"I don't know." He said driving closer. He squinted trying to work out what it was, police, fire, ambulance, all three?

"Ben they're in front of our house." Teeny said saying what he'd just realised himself.

"I know," He pulled the car over to the side of the road unable to drive any closer. "Stay in the car." He told her, he climbed out and began walking as fast as he could towards the house.

As he got closer he saw a stretcher push out the front door, he couldn't see who was on it, they moved too fast and there were too many people around it. The door to the ambulance slammed shut, and the serine flicked on as it sped away.

The bad feeling he had grew stronger and he kept moving forward, eyes focused on the front door. There were people walking out of it now people he didn't recognize.

"Sir you can't come any closer." Someone said trying to stop him.

"This is my house." He said trying to move past them then he saw Wayne step into the doorway.

"Ben!" Wayne cried pushing away from the woman beside him. He started running towards him and as his younger brother got closer he saw the blood. His brother's clothes were covered in blood.


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't know if anyone is reading this but I saw a few hits on it so thought I'd share some more. If you are reading let me know, I have more of it written.**

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Ben felt Wayne wrap his arms tight around his body, he hugged his brother back and watched as a woman he didn't recognize sat his other brothers down on the front stoop and walked towards him.

She flashed him a badge, introduced herself as a detective and asked him who he was, how old he was and then asked him if there was an adult he could call. He said his sister was close she was older, their mothers were over an hour away and their father even further. He asked what had happened, where Margene was.

"There was a home invasion." The woman began, "A man and woman forced their way into the home. " Ben nodded and the woman kept talking, Margene was on her way to the hospital. They'd wanted Nell and when she wouldn't hand her over the man had stabbed her and then pulled the little girl screaming from her arms.

Ben nodded trying to comprehend what he was hearing. This was beyond anything he'd expected or imagined could happen.

"Ben?" He heard Teeny's voice behind him. He turned around and saw his sister standing there carrying the milk and ice-cream. "What's happening?"

He looked back at her, the blank confused expression on her face. He tried to talk but he wasn't sure what words to say. Saying it out loud made it real. "Ben?"

The detective caught the fear and disbelief on his face, the verbal paralysis he was feeling. She talked to Teeny told her what she needed to know for the moment and then suggested she go sit with her brothers and they eat the ice-cream. She didn't want to go but Ben knew he needed a moment with the detective. There were more questions which needed answering and phone calls which needed to be made.

The woman offered to do it for him but he thought it would be better from him.

He phoned Sarah first. She was closest, she could be there soonest he needed someone with him. The phone rang for the longest time, he began to think she wasn't going to answer and then the line connected and she chimed down the line.

"Hey Ben what's up?" She sounded so carefree, such a contrast from the way he was feeling, it threw him a little and for a moment he didn't say anything. "Ben are you there?"

"Yeah." He said the word slowly trying to buy himself sometime, he didn't know how he was supposed to do this. "You need to come to the house now." He said taking the easy route by not actually saying it. "Something's happened. I need you to come now."

"Ben," The carefree tone was gone from her voice replaced by concern. "What's happened?"

He didn't want to say it, but he had to, like a band-aid he thought and he blurted out. "Nell's gone, Margie's in the hospital. Please come."

He heard Sarah gasp, then say, "I'm on my way." Before the line went dead.

For a moment he held the phone in his hand. One call was done but there were more to go. Again the detective asked if he wanted her to do it but again he turned her down. Slowly he began dialling his mom's number, at first she didn't answer, he tried again, and on the third time the line connected.

"Ben I'm in a meeting why are you phoning?" She asked, she sounded annoyed.

It made him feel mad, she shouldn't have been annoyed but she couldn't have known. "Nell's gone, Margie's in the hospital." He said getting straight to the point. "You need to come home now."

There was an extended pause on the other end of the line, Ben waited for his mom to say something and then finally she uttered. "What do you mean gone?"

"I mean gone, stolen, some people forced their way into the house and took her. Margie tried to stop them and they stabbed her." The words came out in a rush, when he finished there was silence, a long silence. "Mom?" He asked after a minute, he heard her slowly exhale and finally she spoke.

"I'm here." She said the words slowly trying to process what her son had just told her. "Who have you phoned?"

"Just Sarah, I was going to phone Nikki next."

"Okay. I'll phone your father. I'm on my way."

Again the line disconnected and he began to make his final call. Nikki was the hardest, she asked more questions than the others, she wanted the details she wanted to know exactly what happened and then wanted to speak to her boys. He gave the phone to Wayne and watched as his younger brother tried to answer the questions being thrown at him.

"I tried to stop him." He heard him say, "but he was too big."


	3. Chapter 3

Sarah arrived just as he finished talking to Nikki. Scott was driving and she was out of the car and running towards him before it had even stopped moving.

"Ben!" She cried racing over to him. "What's happening?" She looked from Ben to the mass of people around the house. The neighbours had all come out to see what the commotion was and the house was crawling with police officers. A crime scene team had just arrived to collect evidence and police officers were roping off the front yard. This was bad, very, very bad.

"Are you Sarah?" The detective standing beside Ben asked.

"Yes." She drew her eyes away from the scene and towards the woman.

"Good." The woman gave her a nod and started going over what they knew had happened and what needed to happen now. Finding Nell and the people responsible for what had happened was their highest priority. Time was of the essence and the sooner an AMBER alert was out the better. They wanted to talk to each of the boys separately and needed to know the names of anyone who'd want to hurt their family. It became obvious at that moment the detective didn't know who they were, didn't know what kind of abuse the family had been receiving since Bill's announcement.

They had to tell them everything, explain their family, the houses, and the living arrangements. They told them what Bill had done and that the number of people who wanted to hurt the family was huge. The detective seemed to nod, take it all in and then the FBI arrived and they had to go through it all again. Scott sat with Wayne as he told the police what had happened, while Sarah sat with Raymond as he did the same thing. Ben went with the detective to get a picture of Nell and show them the letters and Teeny occupied Lester and Aaron, the youngest boys didn't really understand what was happening.

-8-8-8-

Gone, stabbed, hospital, the words kept running through Barb's head as she raced down the highway towards Sandy. It took every ounce of her self control not to speed, not to floor the car and find out how fast her old beast could really move. Being arrested for dangerous driving or worse causing an accident was the last thing she and her family needed right now. She needed to get home, her children weren't equipped to handle this, as well as she'd taught them she hadn't taught them this, no one had taught her this. She needed to be with her children, all her children and Margene, she kept thinking about what Ben had told her, he'd been vague on the details but she could see Margie fighting to hold onto her girl. The images made her feel sick, and the guilt started to eat at her, she couldn't help thinking if she'd been there it wouldn't have happened, that if she'd been more focused on her family and not the casino she could have stopped it.

She could have stopped it, the thought suck in her head and she began to feel tears run down her face. She began to cry and she could feel her body want to shake, if she didn't need to get home so fast she would have pulled over but that wasn't an option she had to pull herself together, be the adult.

After seventy odd minutes of driving she turned the car into their street. She slowed the car to a roll and took in the scene around her. The street was full of cars, big black SUVs, station wagons, police cruisers, there were lights on in every one of their houses, and Margie's front door was wide open. People wearing jackets with the letters POLICE and FBI blazed across the back walked in and out of the house. She pulled the car into the driveway and climbed out. She didn't linger on the scene outside she went straight to her front door and let herself inside.

Inside the house did not look like she had left it. There were police and FBI, two men attaching machines to the telephone, and a man and woman sitting at the dining table with Ben and Sarah. The table was covered in piles and piles of the letters the houses had received over the last week. Seeing them spread out like that she hadn't realised there were so many. For a moment she froze, she didn't say anything stopped moving. Ben saw her before she could react.

"Mom!" he said standing and walking towards her. He moved quickly across the room and embraced her tightly. Soon Sarah was there too, and for a minute they just stood there together holding each other. It felt good to hold her two eldest children, to feel them, smell them, it had a comforting effect but it didn't take away the sick feeling of knowing her family wasn't whole. Eventually she let go and the FBI agents from the table introduced themselves. Their team was heading the investigations, they told her they were doing everything they could to find Nell and the people responsible. They told her what had happened and asked if she knew of anyone who'd want to hurt her family. She could think of lots of people Bill wasn't exactly short of enemies but she didn't think any of them would do this. The Greens had kidnapped before but they would have done it clean, and would already be asking for something. So far there had been no demands, no contact, they'd just disappeared.

After talking with the agents she walked over to see Teeny and the boys. They were at Nikki's house, Scott was keeping an eye on them. There was an old movie playing on the TV and the three youngest had fallen asleep over the sofas. Teeny and Wayne both jumped up when they saw her and ran over. The whole family felt the need to hold each other so again she found herself standing there holding her children. She held them until Wayne started talking.

"I tried to stop them." He told her, "Margie tried to stop them but they were too big."

"I know sweetie you did good." She said trying to reassure the boy. She knew they'd done everything they could, they'd been raised to do nothing less.

"Is Margie going to be okay?" He was asking a question she didn't know the answer to. Her instinct was to say yes, to shelter him from the reality but he'd already seen the reality, he'd been there and she hadn't.

"I don't know," She telling the truth. "I hope so."

-8-8-8-

"Mom! What's happened?" Cara-Lyn asked. There was a sense of fear and urgency in her voice.

"Something bad." Nikki responded, "Something really bad." She shook her head and glanced down at the cars speedo. She was going well over the limit, faster than she had ever driven in her life. It crossed her mind to slow down but she didn't want to. "Check that police scanner make sure it's working." She said instead. She'd pulled the device out of one of the hummers as she'd raced off the compound but she hadn't had time to check that it was functioning.

"It's working fine." Cara-Lyn responded glancing at the device. "What's happened?" She knew it was bad, she'd never seen her mother drive so fast or look so scared but she wanted to know what had happened. At the moment worse case scenarios were rushing through her head and she was scaring herself. "Has someone died?"

Nikki hesitated before she yelled, "No," and shaking her head, no one was dead, not yet but the reality was it could still happen. "No one's died." She hoped that would be enough but Cara-Lyn still wanted to know what happened. "Someone broke into Margene's house." She said speaking as calmly as she could manage. "They took Nell, and hurt Margie real bad."

"Oh," The news shocked Cara-Lyn into brief silence, she processed the information and finally asked. "She'll be okay, won't she?"

"I," She wanted to say yes, it would have been easy to say yes, to let her daughter think it would all be okay but her daughter was smart enough to see right through that. "I don't know." She told her instead.

"Okay." Cara-Lyn didn't ask any more questions, she turned and just stared out the window, watching the countryside race past. For the rest of the drive they didn't speak, in each of their minds what was happening turned over and over. They were trying to make sense of it, process it into a logical order, find a way to fix it, make it okay. Neither one of them had much luck, nothing about this was okay, and the outcome couldn't be certain.


	4. Chapter 4

Ben stood at the back door, staring across the back yard towards in his mother. She had her back to him, she couldn't see him standing there. In his hand he held her car keys. He'd picked them up as soon as she'd put them down. Now he was trying to work out if he really wanted to use them. He wanted to know how Margene was. He'd been thinking about her all night, making himself feel sick with the thought that he might never see her again, that she might die. They'd been so much blood on the boy's clothes, it scared him and not knowing made it worse.

He stepped out of the doorway and began walking across the backyard. "Mom," He called out and he waited for her to look at him. She turned her head and he could see she was crying again. "Can I take your car to the hospital? I want to see how Margie is."

She hesitated for a moment, he could see her turning something over in her mind. "Okay," She finally said. "Phone as soon as you know something. I'll come join you when Nikki gets here."

-8-8-8-

Ben parked in the main car park and walked inside, it was almost midnight but the waiting area was full of people. He asked a woman sitting behind a desk where to go, she typed something into a computer and directed him upstairs to the surgical waiting area. It took him a while to find where he needed to be, he turned down the wrong corridor twice and the woman downstairs had told him the wrong floor. Finally he made it to the correct waiting area, it was smaller than the other waiting areas he'd past but it was a little nicer too. There were some arm chairs and a sofa as well as the hard generic chairs he'd seen in every other room. There was only one other person in the room, a man who looked to be in his eighties trying to sleep in one of the arm chairs. He looked up briefly when he walked in then closed his eyes. Ben took a seat on one of the hard chairs, rested his head in his hands, closed his eyes and started praying. It was the first time all night he'd had time to stop long enough to pray. To ask heavenly father to protect his family, to bring them all home safe. They had to come home safe, he didn't think he could forgive himself if they didn't. He kept thinking this wouldn't have happened if he'd been home, this was his fault.

He sat there praying for what seemed like forever, time went by painfully slow, he kept looking up at the clock, it looked like it wasn't moving. After an hour he phoned home. Told his mom Margene was still in surgery, that he'd get the doctor to speak to her when they finally come out. She asked him if he wanted some company he declined. He asked her if she'd got in touch with his dad yet, she said no, he still wasn't answering his phone. He asked how it was going at the house, if they knew who'd done it yet. She told him they'd made little progress, they were still going through mail, and lots of them had gone to sleep. There was very little them as a family could do at the moment. She told him he should try and get some sleep too, he was going to need all the strength he could get for the fight which was coming. He tried to sleep but his thoughts and worries about Margie kept him awake and after another hour the doctor finally came out.

Ben watched the doctor walk towards him, he tried to read his face gauge what he was going to say but his expression was blank, no sorrow, no happiness. "Are you Margene Heffman's family?" he asked when he reached him.

"Yes," Ben answered standing up. He was the same height as the doctor, he could look him straight in the eye. "Is she going to be okay?"

The doctor didn't say yes, he paused a moment and then started talking in carefully chosen words. "She's stable for now," he began, "We've done everything we can for her in surgery but," There it was, the but Ben didn't want to hear. "She's lost a lot of blood, her body is in a significant amount of shock, and we won't know for several hours if she's going to be able to recover from that."

"Okay," Ben whispered, more to himself than the doctor standing in front of him. This wasn't the news he was hoping for, the waiting and anxiety weren't over yet. "When will we know?"

"I don't know." The doctor shrugged a little before clarifying. "Hopefully within the next twelve hours." Then he started talking in metaphors. "Imagine her condition like this. She's standing on a ledge half way up a cliff. She's already done the work to get to the ledge and now she's very tired and must decide if she wants to jump off or keep climbing. If she jumps we'll know it, she'll deteriorate very fast but if she starts climbing it will be slowly. "

"Okay," Ben said again, he didn't feel like he knew anymore, nothing the doctor said made him feel better. "Can I see her now?"

"Of course, follow me." The doctor began leading him towards the elevator, they were half way there before he remembered he was supposed to phone his mom.

-8-8-8-

Barb stood in her kitchen; in her hand she held a mug full of steaming hot water with lemon. She took a sip of it and felt the warm liquid run through her body. It soothed her but it didn't help with the exhaustion she was feeling. She was the only one in the family still awake, she'd told the others to get some rest, that they'd need their energy for tomorrow but she wasn't following her own advice. She couldn't sleep, not when her house was still full of FBI agents, and detectives working their case, not when she was still waiting for Ben and Bill to phone.

She still hadn't got hold of Bill, his phone kept going straight to voice mail which made her mad and annoyed, he needed to be on his way home but instead he had no idea what was going on. As if thinking about it made it happen her phone began to vibrate. A glance at the number told her it was Ben.

"Benny, what's happening?" She asked skipping all the pleasantries.

"Margie is out of surgery." He told her, "I'm going to put the doctor on."

Soon the doctor was speaking to her. He sounded like a nice smart man but he couldn't tell her the one thing she needed to hear. That everything would be okay. Instead he talked in circles, she asked a lot of questions. She hoped the answers would reassure her but for the most part they scared her half to death. When the doctor had finished talking she spoke to Ben again.

"I'm coming down." She told him, "I'll be there soon."

-8-8-8-

Ben hung the phone up and looked back at the doctor. "We can go now." He said and the doctor began leading him through a maze of corridors to the ICU. At the entrance to the ward he introduced him to a woman behind a desk. He told him in the future he'd need to speak to her to get into the ward. This time the doctor just swiped his card. On the other side of the door was another corridor with a small sink in it. They both had to wash their hands before they could go any further. And then finally they were at Margene's door. The doctor spoke to him again, told him it looked bad, and that if he could he should only talk positive things in her room. He said okay, by now he just wanted to get inside and see her.

The doctor opened the door and they stepped inside. He was expecting something worse than what he saw. There were machines all around her with tubes and wires attaching to her body but her injuries were covered by the light sheet over her body. She still looked like herself, still beautiful, just small. With everything around her she looked tiny lying in the bed. He pulled up a seat beside her and took her hand, he softly kissed her knuckles and began talking.

"I'm sorry." They were the two words he'd been wanting to tell her all evening. "I'm sorry I wasn't there, I'm sorry I didn't listen to you." He hissed her knuckles again then placed her hand back on the bed. He rested his own on top and then began saying the other thing she needed to hear. "You have to keep fighting." He told her, "You're family needs you." Then he began praying again.

When Barb arrived she sat down with him and joined his praying. Eventually fatigue set in and they both fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**This is for you reading, Just a warning, this part describes what exactly happened.  
**

_Margie, she was in her house but it didn't feel like her house it didn't feel safe and warm. Nell was in her arms crying and somewhere to her side she could hear her boys yelling and screaming. She glanced over her shoulder, a woman she didn't know was trying to pick Aaron up. The other boys were kicking and hitting her to make her stop. She wanted to help but then she realised there was a man there too and he was coming straight at her. Fear gripped her body and she started moving backwards, a bad idea, soon she was against the wall with nowhere to go. The man came up against her, so close she could smell his breath, feel his body against hers._

_"Give me the girl and you won't get hurt." He told and he tried to pull Nell from her arms. _

_"No," She held her girl as tight as she could, so tight she was probably hurting her but she didn't want this man to take her. _

_"I said give her to me and you won't get hurt." He hissed the words through clenched teeth and pulled out a large knife. He ran the knife down the side of her face, not hard enough to cut, just enough so she could feel the blade. "Will you give her to me?" As he said the words he took half a step back, just enough room for her to move. Her instinct told her to run but she only got half a step before the man closed in on her and she felt the knife slam into her side. The impact, the pain, for a moment it took her breath away and her muscles tensed. She squeezed Nell tighter to her chest and the man pushed her back against the wall. _

_"I told you, you'd get hurt." The man told her, evil dripping off his voice. "Now give her to me or I'll do it again."_

_"No," She shook her head, there was no way she going to just give this man her daughter. _

_"Very well," and then he slammed the knife into her again. This time low, close to her pelvis, she felt the knife go in and thrust upwards. The pain was unbearable and she felt herself begin to feel dizzy. As he pulled the knife out he gave her a wicked smile and then pushed her to the ground. _

_She tried to protect Nell as she fell, she landed hard jarring her whole body. It hurt but the adrenalin was pumping through her, her flight instinct took hold and she began trying to flee again. She tried to stand but the room was spinning, she crawled along the ground, the man let her get a third of the way before he stopped her. He stepped on her leg and then pushed her on to her back. _

_He lent over her, the bloody knife held poised in his hand. "If you'd just given her to me I wouldn't have had to do this." He told her, and then he slammed the knife deep into the centre of her chest. She couldn't breathe, the moment the knife went in she couldn't breathe, her body went limp. The man grabbed Nell and pulled her from her arms. She tried to hold on but the man was stronger. _

_"Mommy!" She heard Nell scream before everything started to go black._

"Nell, Nell," Margie cried in her sleep. She was getting restless, tossing more. Ben stood up and gently tried to wake her. It was late morning and the doctors had said she might start to wake up soon.

"Margie, Margie," Ben said gently shaking her, "Wake up you're dreaming."

She let out a small groan and her eyes opened. She looked up at him, the fear and terror of her dream was still in her eyes. He saw it begin to fade as she realised it was him. "Benny, where's Nell?"

The question threw him slightly, he didn't answer it fast enough, she read him though, she knew what he was going to say. "Oh my god, that was real." She said and it was like something flipped inside of her. The drug induced haze she was supposed to be in lifted and she sat bolt upright in bed. "I have to get out of here, I have to find her." She said and she began pulling at the tubes and wires attached to her.

Ben hit the call button to get the doctor in then tried to stop her. "Margie stop," He told her. "You have to stay in bed, the doctor said you have to stay in bed."

She didn't want to hear him though and kept pulling at the wires, she disconnected the one monitoring her heart beat and the room filled with the wailing sound of a coding patient.

Within seconds the room was full of people, a doctor and nurse began trying to reattach the wires she'd pulled lose and get her to lay back down but she didn't want to lay down.

"I have to find my daughter." She tried to tell them. "She's missing, someone took her I have to find her."

She tried to push against the people but they held her down. "Margene you have to stop." The doctor told her. "You've just had major surgery, you lost a lot of blood, you need to rest." They held her until she stopped fighting, until the energy which had swept through her body dispersed and all she felt was pain and fatigue.

"I have to find my baby." She cried, despair now running through her as fast as the fight before. "Who's looking for my baby?"

"I am." From the other side of the room she heard a voice. She looked up and saw a woman she'd never seen standing in the doorway with Barb. The woman wore a black suit and in her hand she held a coffee, she looked official, from out of town. "My team is looking for your daughter." She began to walk into the room, held out her hand and introduced herself as an FBI agent. She assured her, her team was doing everything they could to find Nell and what she could do now to help them the most was answer some questions. The agent looked to the doctor for approval, he told her to be quick and then the agent began.

"Do you remember what happened?"

"Yes," She remembered more than she wanted to.

"Alright," The agent offered her a half smile. "Lets start at the beginning. Tell me what was happening right before they came. What was everyone doing?"

The question wasn't quite what she was expecting, she closed her eyes and tried to remember what came before the terror. "Nell was crying," She began slowly, "she'd tripped over and hit her head on the coffee table. I'd picked her up and was trying to calm her down and then there was a bang on the door." She felt someone take her hand and hold it. "Ben and Teeny had just left. I thought maybe they'd forgot something, I opened the door. I didn't even look to see who was there." Her voice began to crack, she felt the hand squeeze. "A man and woman were standing there, they stepped inside and slammed the door. They told me they were there for my children, that I wasn't raising them right, that I was an evil, terrible mother, and I didn't deserve them. I screamed for the boys to get up stairs. The woman went after them, and the man grabbed my arm." A monitor beside her gave a warning beep. Her heart was starting to race and she was finding it difficult to breath. Someone placed a mask over her face and they waited.

"You're doing well Margene," The agent told her. "When you're ready keep going."

She nodded and tried to compose herself, after a few minutes she pulled the mask down and kept going. "I kicked him, I tried to run, but the boys were screaming, I couldn't leave them and then he was holding me again. He pushed me against the wall. He said he didn't want to hurt me, that he wouldn't hurt me if I gave him my girl." Tears were streaming down her face now and her whole body began to shiver. The hand holding hers squeezed and someone told her to keep going. "I wouldn't let him take her, I held her as tight as could but he..." The words trailed from her mouth, the monitor beeped again, someone pulled the mask back up, and the grip on her hand tightened. This was hard, forming the words describing what had happened, it was like she was there again and her body was reacting. After a few minutes she opened her eyes, "I'm sorry," She gasped, still unable to catch her breath.

"It's okay," The agent smiled at her. "Lets try something different. What did he look like?"

"He..." She closed her eyes again and she could see him leaning over her, she could see every detail of him as if he was standing right there. "He was big, I couldn't see past him." She began slowly, "His eyes were small, black, close together. His nose was small, it was like his face was too small for his head. His ears stuck out and..." Her voice trailed off as she pulled the mask back over her face and opened her eyes. This was getting to be too much for her, her whole body was hurting, and she was feeling so weak, she wanted to keep going but she couldn't.

The doctor saw her distress, "You need to wrap this up." He told the agent and the woman nodded at him. She stood up but she didn't leave.

"One last question." She said instead. "Think very carefully Margene. Have you seen them before?"

She closed her eyes to think and then she saw them. She gasped the realisation hitting her hard. The monitors around her started going off. She felt the energy in the room shift, she opened her eyes but she couldn't focus, something was wrong, she couldn't breath, she was going to black out she could feel it but she had to finish. "The supermarket." She managed to say before everything went black.


	6. Chapter 6

**This is for you reading, and to answer your question, yes I did like the Ben-having-a-crush-on-Margene storyline but I'm glad the writers stopped it where they did. The relationship didn't need to go further.**

Barb stood with Ben in the corridor outside Margene's room. Neither one of them were speaking, they were both shaking inside over what they'd just witnessed. They'd seen the colour drain from Margie's face, her whole body go limp, and then the frantic movements of the medial team as they'd moved in to revive her. They were still working on her when someone had hustled them along with the agent out the room.

Now they were standing around waiting for news, waiting to be told it was okay, that they could go back in.

Finally the door opened and the doctor walked out. He gave them a smile before he started speaking his attempt to make the news appear good. "I'm sorry you had to see that." He began. For some reason he felt the need to apologise but neither of them was interested in the apology all they wanted to know was how Margene was.

"Is she okay?" Ben asked cutting the doctor off from saying anymore irrelevant pleasantries.

"She's stable." That wasn't the answer to the question but it was the best the doctor was willing to offer. "We've sedated her again and increased her pain medication."

"What does that mean?" Barb asked, she craved details not vague answers.

"It means we won't know much more until tomorrow." The doctor told her. "She's doing as well as can be expected. What she needs right now is a lot of rest, we need to give her body a chance to heal itself, without the additional stress of what's happening."

"Can we go back in?" Ben didn't want to be in the corridor anymore, not when Margene was alone in that room.

"Of course." The doctor opened the door and stepped aside. Ben took the first step with Barb close behind.

"Barb," The agent called her name. She stopped and turned around. "Can I speak to you for a minute?"

"Go ahead." She nodded to Ben and turned to walk over to the agent. "What is it?" she asked reaching the woman.

"My team want to run the AMBER alerts nationally. We think there is a high probability they're going to leave the state." She began. "Have you managed to get a hold of your husband yet?"

"No." She still hadn't got hold of Bill, she'd left him dozens of messages telling him to phone her but he hadn't. It was a fact which angered her more than anything, they were going through hell and he wasn't there. "Run the alerts." The agent looked at her surprised.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." She was sure, "Finding the people responsible for this, bringing my girl home safely, is more important than my husband's feelings."

"Okay, I'll make it happen." The agent gave her a smile and walked away.

Before she went back in the room Barb tried phoning Bill one more time, he still didn't answer.

-8-8-8-

Bill sat alone in the diner across the road from the hotel he was staying at, in front of him sat a large piece of apple and rhubarb pie. He was slowly eating it while chatting with the waitress. There weren't many people in the diner and she seemed happy to listen to him. He was talking about himself, about his family, about polygamy and what he hoped to achieve by outing his family. He was lamenting about how it wasn't turning out the way he'd hoped and she seemed to be sympathetic to his cause. She would smile at him and he couldn't help but notice how pretty she was. To the right of him up on the wall was a television, it was playing live coverage of some sports match. He wasn't much into sports so he wasn't paying too much attention to it but there were a couple men at a table who were getting right into it. A few times the waitress had even yelled at them to lower their voices.

"Oh what! Come on!" The two men yelled simultaneously, the sound of the game stopped, replaced by the familiar sound of intro music for news headlines.

"We interrupt your scheduled programming to bring you this breaking news." An anchorman's voice projected into the diner. "A national AMBER Alert has just been issued for twenty month old Nell Henrickson." Nell's photo filled the TV screen and the man kept talking. "Nell was abducted at 7pm last night from her home in Sandy, Utah, following a home invasion in which her mother was seriously injured."

Bill's mouth dropped, he stopped talking and just stared at the screen. Nell's picture disappeared and was replaced by police sketches of a man and woman. The anchorman kept talking but Bill was no longer hearing, the words just washed over him. The bulletin finished the sports game resumed; Bill didn't move he just kept staring at the screen.

"Bill?" The waitress said his name but he didn't move. "Bill are you alright?"

He looked away from the screen and at the woman in front of him. "That was my daughter." He said, his voice level but softer than before.

"Oh my God." The waitress whispered and she reached for his hand. He moved it before she could touch him. He reached into his own breast pocket for his phone, he needed to phone home, he needed to find out what on earth was going on, why no one had phoned him. A part of him was hoping this was some sick joke, that it wasn't real. His phone wasn't in his pocket, it wasn't in his pants, he quickly realised he didn't have it.

"Can I use your phone?"

-8-8-8-

Nikki stood in Barb's kitchen making sloppy joe's, she could have done it in her own house but she wanted to keep an eye on the police and FBI camping at their home. She knew they were there to help, that they were their only chance of finding these people and bringing Nell home but she couldn't help not trusting them completely. Her distrust in law enforcement was ingrained but she didn't do anything to stop them, she just watched.

She was watching one of the agents, a young man read one of the letters again, there seemed to be something in it which he was trying to work out, pull out. The phone started ringing and everyone in the room jumped. Nikki walked over to answer it, the agent flicked on a recording device.

"Hello," Nikki said unsure of who was calling.

"Nikki!" Bill's voice filled her ears. "What's happening? Is everything ok?"

She didn't answer his questions, she cut him off with a string of her own. "Where are you? What are you doing? Why haven't you been answering your phone? We've been phoning you all night."

"I'm at the hotel," He told her, "I must have lost my phone." He answered her questions now he wanted her to answer his. "What's going on there? I saw the news bulletin is everyone okay?"

"No!" She was appalled that he could even ask that question. "No one is okay. Margie's in the hospital, she's real bad Bill they don't know if she'll make it. Nell's gone, the boys saw it all happen, they're traumatized. Everyone else is doing their best to hold it together. No one is okay."

She wanted to hang up on him, she thought it would be a fitting end to her rant but she didn't, she held the phone and waited for him to respond. Bill felt his insides twist a little, he was speechless. This was worse than anything he could have thought of or predicted would happen.

"Bill!" Nikki was getting annoyed with him for not speaking, not saying anything.

"I'll be home as soon as I can." He said and he hung up.

He looked across at the waitress in front of him. "Bill are you okay?" She asked him again.

He didn't respond, he just shook his head and stood up. "I have to go." He muttered and he walked out. He walked across the road to the hotel, collected his things, checked out, and took the first cab he could get to the airport.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: This part is a little short but I wanted to get something up here. I'm trying to cover how a few different family members are handling the situation. If you have any opinions or feelings on whos feelings a should also cover let me know. I can't promise to include them but it'll give me something to think about.**

Nikki placed the phone back on the receiver, then after a second thought picked it back up and dialled Barb's number. She needed to tell her Bill had phoned, that he was on his way home, and she wanted to know how Margie was doing. No one had phoned to tell her anything, all she knew was the initial information, she'd been stabbed, she'd bled a lot, Barb had left a note saying she was out of surgery but that didn't tell her anything.

"Hey Nikki," Barb said answering the phone, she sounded tired, flat, there was no real emotion in her voice.

"Hey Barb. I wanted to tell you Bill just phoned," she told her. "He's on his way home. He knows everything, he said he saw it on the news." She said the last part almost as a question, an accusation.

"Yes," Barb could feel what Nikki was implying, she hadn't told her about the AMBERs. "I told the FBI they could run the AMBER alerts nationally. This man and woman are probably out of Utah already but someone will see them. They'll get caught."

"I hope so," Nikki couldn't quite manage the forced confidence Barb was pushing. "How's Margie?"

"She's hanging in there." Barb said trying to keep the confidence in her voice. "She was awake for a bit and talked to the agent." She paused remembering what Margie had told the agent. "It was horrible Nikki," She said lowering her voice, "She remembers everything."

"Oh boy, it was bad?" Nikki still didn't know what exactly had happened. She hadn't asked her boys for the specific details, she didn't want to make them go through it again.

"You've no idea, she could barely breath."

"Wow," She didn't want to think about what Margie had gone through, what her boys had witnessed and been a part of.

"Yeah, how's everyone at the house?"

"Okay," Nikki surveyed the people around her. "The FBI is still camped out in your house. Don't worry I'm keeping an eye on them. Everyone else is over at mine watching movies I think. It's so quiet over there I haven't heard any noise all morning."

"Quiet?" Barb couldn't remember the last time the house had been quiet.

"Yeah, I guess everyone is shook up. There is nothing we can do, no one wants to say anything."

"Yes," Barb sighed, she didn't know what else to say. "I should get going, we'll talk more later."

They finished their conversation and both hung up. Nikki went back to her cooking and Barb went back to her bedside vigil. They both wanted to do more but there was nothing more they could do.

-8-8-8-

Wayne walked outside and sat on the swing in the back yard. He hadn't played on the equipment for a while, for the most part he was too big, but he still liked the swing. He gently pushed himself, he began to swing but it didn't feel right. He didn't feel like he should be doing anything he enjoyed when his family were so torn up. He stopped swinging and stared at his fingers, he'd scrubbed them last night, and he'd scrubbed them again this morning but he still couldn't get the blood out from under his nails. It made his hands look dirty but they'd never been so clean, he'd scrubbed them so much, some how he'd thought maybe if he could just get rid of the blood everything else would go away too.

He couldn't stop thinking about last night, that maybe if he'd done something different it would have been better. He hadn't seen what happened to Margene, he'd been too busy stopping the woman from grabbing Aaron. He didn't even know she'd been hurt until the man and woman suddenly left. It was then he saw her laying on the floor, she was covered in blood and his sister was gone. He couldn't help thinking if he'd helped her maybe it would have been different, maybe she wouldn't have been hurt, Nell wouldn't be gone.

He shook his head and tried to get the thoughts out, the police and ambulance people had told him he'd done good, that he'd done everything he could and he'd done it all right. He still felt like he could have done more. The 911 lady had hold him he needed to stop the bleeding, he'd used towels and his hands just like the lady said, his brothers had helped but the blood kept soaking through the towels and covered their hands. The lady had said to keep her awake, to keep her talking but he'd only been able to do that for a few minutes before her eyes had closed and she wouldn't open them again. He was afraid she might be dead or dying, he wished someone would tell him how she was.

No one was going to tell him anything though, he was just a kid. He stood up and walked across the backyard to Barb's house. His mother had been in there all day cooking or something, he wasn't sure but it didn't really matter, she was just avoiding everyone, avoiding the questions his younger brothers kept asking. Lester and Aaron kept asking where their mom and sister were, when they'd come home. Sarah tried to answer the question but it was hard when she didn't have the answers.

He reached the house and opened the door. His mom was in the kitchen stirring a pot of something. "Mom," he said getting her attention, when she looked up at him he kept going. "How's Margie? Can we go see her?"

"Honey I..." She was going to say no, he could tell she was going to say no. "I don't think that's a good idea. She's really sick, she's going to be sleeping all day."

"Oh, but..." He wanted to argue but he wasn't sure how to. He didn't have a good reason why he should go to the hospital he just wanted to. "I don't care if she's asleep. I just want to see her."

"Sweetie," He watched her step towards him but at the last moment the phone began ringing. She stopped, she turned around and answered the phone instead. A part of him felt he should leave but instead he listened to her side of the conversation. It wasn't very interesting, she didn't say much, it was like she was trying to hide from him what she was talking about. "We'll go there now." Was the last thing she said before she hung up. She turned back to him and tried to smile. "That was the police," She told him, "Margie told them she saw the man and lady at the supermarket. They want you and Raymond to watch some videos to see if you can find them."

-8-8-8-

Bill stood in the airport and watched as his flight's status changed from delayed to cancelled. He stomped his foot and marched over to the ticketing counter. He demanded the woman tell him what was going on and find him a flight home. He was angry and rude, he flustered the woman and made her cry. There was no easy way to get him home, no direct flights and no obvious connectors. His frustration and anger mounted and mounted. The woman's supervisor came over and then her manager, the situation was getting intense and serious and then somewhere not far away a baby started crying. The sound hit a nerve in his chest, broke through the bravado he was displaying, he started to feel weak at the knees and sat down. He stopped yelling and just started sobbing, he held his head in his hands and let it all come out, his whole body shook and around him everyone went quiet.

"Please," he said through the sobs, "I have to get home. My daughter's been kidnapped and my wife is in the hospital, they don't know if she's going to make it. I have to get home I need to be with my family. Please."

The manager came and sat down beside him. "Sir," he said, "we'll see what we can do to get you home but you can't talk to my staff like that. Yelling at them isn't going to get you anywhere." The manager walked off but he didn't try to follow him just sat there feeling lost and deflated.

Ten minutes later the woman he'd first spoken to, the one he'd made cry came over to him. "Sir," she began saying to him as she sat down beside him, "We've found some flights to get you home." She handed him some plane tickets, and he looked up at her. "You have to go down to gate 17, the first plane leaves very soon."

He took the tickets from her and stood up. "Thanks," he said and he walked off. As he walked away he looked down at the tickets, he wasn't going to land in Salt Lake until after 11pm. He was going to be away from his family all day.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Sorry this has taken so long to come out. Life has been getting in the way and I got a little carried away with part. There was so much I wanted to get in it. I hope you enjoy it. :)**

The police station was big, and busy, there were people sitting at desks covered in files and other people walking back and forth between desks and rooms and offices. Wayne thought it looked nothing like it did last time he was there. His Boy Scout troupe had gone on a tour of the station earlier in the year but it had been in the evening and most people had already gone home. This new environment looked intimidating he felt his mom reach down and take his hand. He looked up at her and smiled, she looked more uncomfortable than he was. She scanned the room looking for the person they needed to speak to, he saw them before they saw him.

"Ms Grant," A tall heavy set middle aged man said, he held out his hand and introduced himself as a detective. Wayne recognised him as the man he'd spoken to the night before. "Thank you for bringing Wayne and Raymond down. We're going to set you up in this room here. "

He walked them across the station and into one of the rooms in the corner. The room wasn't very big; it had a table in the middle of it with a half a dozen chairs and a television on a stand with wheels at one end.

Wayne took the seat closest to the television, he knew what he was there to do, and wanted to get it done as soon as possible. The detective asked them if they wanted anything to drink, he said he'd like some water; the detective smiled at him and walked out the room.

"Mom how long is this going to take?" Raymond asked when they were alone. He wasn't nearly as keen to be at the police station as his brother. He didn't want to talk about what had happened he wanted to try and forget about it.

"It won't take too long," Wayne said not giving his mom a chance to answer. "They just want us to find the man and woman in the tape. Then we can go."

"Okay," Raymond nodded and he pulled his chair a little closer to the TV.

It seemed to take forever for the detective to come back; eventually he walked in carrying a picture of water, four glasses, and a collection of DVDs. He put the first DVD in the TV and the black and white security footage from inside the supermarket began playing. This first disk showed the entrance and a bit of the front of the store. The detective fast forwarded the footage until they saw Margie walk into the store, she'd already put Nell inside the trolley, there was no one else around and she quickly disappeared from frame. The first disk was useless, the second disk was better; it showed footage into a couple of the aisles, there were lots of people in the frames. Systematically Wayne looked at every one of those people but none of them were the couple who'd come into their home.

They tried another disk, it covered a few more aisles but there were less people around. Margie was in the aisle alone and then a couple approached her from the other direction, they stopped and talked, and then as Margie went to walk away the woman grabbed her arm. Everyone in the room gasped, the look on Margie's face had changed from a smile to fright.

"Is that them?" The detective asked.

"I'm not sure, I don't think so." Wayne said slowly, the shot was of the back of them, he couldn't see their faces but they didn't look right, "The man was bigger, and the woman smaller." He said processing it out loud.

"Okay," The detective nodded but they still moved through the next few frames very slowly, when the woman let go of Margie's arm, she took off as fast could, she looked scared and then the man and woman turned around to watch her flee, the detective paused the footage. "Have a closer look." He suggested.

Wayne stood up on his chair; he looked closely at the couple who'd just scared Margie. "It's not them," He said sitting back down.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," Wayne wanted it to be them but he was sure it wasn't. "The man was huge, and the woman tiny. It's not them."

"Okay," The detective sounded disappointed, he put the last disk in and pressed play. They watched a clearly spooked Margene pay for the groceries she'd already collected and leave the store as quickly as she could. They were at the end of the tapes and they'd found nothing.

"Play them again." Wayne said, he was sure he'd missed something, if Margie had said they were there, they had to be there. They watched the tapes again, the ones where she was inside, they played them in slow motion, Wayne looked at every single face, Raymond looked too but he was quickly losing interest he wanted to go home.

They watched the tapes two more times but Wayne couldn't find the man and woman, he was getting frustrated and mad at himself. If Margie had said they were there, they had to be there.

"Wayne, sweetie maybe Margie was mistaken." His mom tried to tell him, they were ready to go home but he wasn't.

"They have to be there Mom," He said sitting down in his chair. He needed to think, work out what he was missing. "The first tape put that back in." He said. It was the only tape he hadn't stared at to death, Margie was only in it for a few seconds, he watched it forward frame by frame, and then backwards, and then finally he saw it. Just outside the door she stopped and talked to someone before she went inside. "There!" He said pointing at a shadow at the corner of the screen. "That has to be them. Do you have a tape of outside?"

"Not with me," The detective said, "I'll be right back."

He left the room and Wayne sat back down, he was smiling for the first time all day. He'd done it, he was sure that had to be them. His mom gave him a pat on the back and told him he'd done well. Soon the detective came back and he put the final disk in the player. They fast forwarded it until the moment Margie arrived at the shop. They watched her park the car, get Nell out from the back seat and carry her over to the trolleys. She strapped her in and they walked to the entrance, she was smiling she looked happy. And then there they were, the couple, just outside the door they stopped Margie, they talked to her for a while and then she seemed to be writing something down, the woman handed her a small bit of paper, she shoved it in her bag and walked inside.

"Oh my gosh," The detective said under his breath. "They sold her a raffle ticket, she gave them her address, her phone number, everything." This was good information, the first good strong lead they'd had so far. "Thank you young man, you've done great." The detective told him before they were told they could go home. There was nothing more they could do right now but, the information was good.

The family walked to the car with small smiles on their faces, they all felt like they'd done something good, that they'd contributed in some way. The police and FBI still hadn't found Nell but they were one step closer.

"Mom," Wayne said as they reached the car. "Can we go see Margie now?"

Nikki stopped walking and looked at her son. It was the second time he'd asked her that question. She didn't want to say yes, she disliked hospitals almost as much as she disliked police stations but she could tell he really wanted to go, that it was important to him. "I'm not sure sweetie," she told him, "I'll have to phone Barb, see what she says."

"Okay," he wasn't going to be put off by that, he knew his mom didn't want to go but he did. "Can you phone her now?"

Nikki sighed and pulled out her phone. She was secretly hoping Barb would say no, that it wouldn't be a good idea to bring the boys down but she didn't. Barb told her the boys could come if they really wanted to but she had to make sure they knew Margie would be asleep, that she wouldn't be able to talk to them.

Nikki tried to use this information to change Wayne's mind, Raymond didn't seem to care either way but Wayne wanted to go. He was adamant he just wanted to see Margie, that it would be okay if she didn't speak to him.

-8-8-8-

Sarah walked into the living room of Nikki's house carrying a hand full of paper and a small bucket full of pencils and crayons. She placed them on the coffee table and told her youngest brothers they should do some drawing. She was trying to find something to occupy them with, to keep their hands and minds busy so they'd stop asking her questions she didn't have answers to.

She sat down on the sofa and lent back against Scott. He wrapped an arm around her and kissed her just below the ear.

"You're so good with them," he told her.

She let out a long sigh, "I wish I could do more." She wanted to take away her brothers' pain and anxiety. She wanted to tell them everything would be okay, that their mom and sister would be home soon but she couldn't, she didn't have the answers and she didn't want to lie. Instead she helped them pray and tried to keep them busy. It wasn't so hard, Teeny and Cara-Lyn were there too, and they helped a lot.

Taking care of Lester and Aaron, and Raymond and Wayne to an extent seemed to be the only thing the three girls could do. None of them were there when it happened, they couldn't contribute much to the investigation, all they could do was try and hold the family together.

"Sarah look," Lester had finished his drawing and brought it over to show her, the drawing had a lot of red and black in it. "That's the police and that's the bad man," he told her. "The police got the bad man." She looked at the drawing and smiled, she could just make out the people from the mess of lines.

"That's good," she told him, "how about you draw a picture for mom."

"Okay," he walked back to the table and picked up another piece of paper. He looked at the sheet for a moment as if trying to decide what he wanted to draw, and then he reached for the pink and purple crayons; Margie's favourite colours.

-8-8-8-

Wayne waited anxiously outside the ICU ward while his mom talked to a lady behind a desk. This ward where Margene was wasn't like the other wards in the hospital, they couldn't just walk in, someone had to let them. He could hear his mom getting frustrated with the woman, she didn't want to let them in but then Barb opened the door and scooted them in before the woman could stop them. They walked down a small corridor and stopped at a hand basin. One by one they scrubbed their hands and carefully dried them. Then they kept walking, as they walked Barb explained to them what to expect.

"Margie is still very sick," She told them. "The doctors have given her some medicine to make her sleep so she can get better. You can talk to her but she's not going to wake up."

"Okay," His mom had told them basically the same thing on the drive over; they could talk to Margie but she wasn't going to talk back.

At the door Barb seemed to pause for a moment and then she twisted the handle and they all stepped inside. Nikki and Raymond both stopped at the door, they closed it behind them but they didn't go any further. Wayne kept going; he took two steps forward and stood by Margie's beside. He slowly took in her appearance, her eyes were closed, and around her face was a thin tube with two little prongs going up her nose. There were lots of monitors around her, with lines and numbers on them; they had wires and tubes attached leading down to her body.

"You can hold her hand if you want." Ben told him from his seat on the other side of the bed.

He reached down and took her hand; he took a deep breath and began talking. "I'm sorry I couldn't stop the man hurting you," he told her, "I didn't see until he was gone and then it was too late, I'm sorry." That was what he wanted to tell her, what he needed to tell her but then he kept going. "I talked to the police today," he started saying. "I found the man and lady in the tapes at the supermarket. The police know who they are; they're going to find them."

He let go of her hand and wondered what else he was supposed to do. He didn't have anything else he needed to say then he remembered what his mom always did with him when he was sick. He stepped up to the head of the bed, stood on his tip toes and lent forward. He kissed her on the forehead and then stepped back. He turned around and smiled at his mom.

Nikki released a breath she didn't realise she was holding. "We can go now." He told her and she felt herself relax even more. Seeing Margene look so helpless had shaken her more than she expected, she wanted to get out of there. She gave Barb a hug and told her to phone if anything changed then she led her boys out the room and through the hospital towards the car.

-8-8-8-

Bill arrived in Salt Lake just after 11pm, his final plane had arrived early, the only good thing to happen to him all day. He used a payphone to call Barb and arranged for her to meet him at the front of the hospital, he wanted to talk to her before he saw Margie, and then he walked outside and caught a taxi.

Barb waited outside the hospital for Bill. She wished he'd hurry up and get there, the night was starting to cool off and she was getting cold. She wasn't sure why Bill needed to meet her at the front of the hospital, he could find his own way to the ward but he'd insisted she meet him at the front. Finally his taxi pulled up, she watched him hand the driver some money and climb out.

"Barb," he said walking straight to her, he held out his arms and embraced her in a tight hug. He held her for a long time, breathed in the scent of her hair, it felt good to be home. Eventually he let go and began the conversation he needed to have.

"How bad is it really?" He asked, his mind has been doing back flips all day trying to process and get his head around the situation, he kept hoping it wasn't as bad as it seemed but Barb didn't look like she was going to tell him it was fine.

"Margie's in real bad shape," she started telling him. "The doctors are worried about her kidneys and infection but they say she's doing alright."

Bill nodded taking in the information. "Is she going to be okay?" That was what he really needed to know.

"I think so," Barb said slowly and she indicated they should start heading inside. "This evening the doctor said he was cautiously optimistic about her condition."

"Good," Bill let out a sigh that was one less thing to worry about. "And Nell, what are they doing to find her?"

"The police and FBI are working together," Barb began trying to remember all the things they were doing. "They've got the phones tapped in case they phone, someone is going through all the letters, they've got ABMERs out all over the country, and Nell's photo along with the couples' distributed at every border crossing into Canada and Mexico."

"Is that all?" It didn't seem like much, he was expecting more.

"I don't know there might be more." She hadn't been paying as much attention as she should to the police investigation; she'd left that job to Nikki while she stayed at the hospital. "I've been here all day. I don't know exactly what all they're doing."

"Okay," Bill made a mental note to chase that up, he needed to know exactly what the police and FBI were doing, he needed to make sure they were doing everything humanly possible to find his daughter. He didn't ask anymore question, they walked in silence while he continued to process.

At the door to the ward the lady waved them in and they began making their way towards Margene's room, at the door they paused for just a moment. Barb thought to say something but instead just opened the door.

Ben stood up when he saw his father enter. "Dad," he said as he stepped towards him. He held out his arms and gave him a quick embrace.

"Ben," Bill was surprised to see his son in the room. Barb hadn't mentioned that he was there, a little part of him felt uncomfortable that his son had been playing the man while he'd been gone but another part of him was grateful that he had. His oldest son was turning into quite the man and seemed to be shouldering responsibilities beyond his years.

He couldn't dwell on his son though he was there to see his wife. She looked so peaceful laying there in the bed, sleep hid all the pain he knew she had to be going though. He stepped towards her and picked up her hand, he kissed her knuckles and then gently rested her hand on the bed. He bent down so he was closer to her, and kissed her softly by her cheek bone.

"I'm sorry," He told her, "I'm going to make it better, I'm going to fix everything." Then he rested his hands on her forehead and began resighting her a blessing. By the time he was done his voice was a little shaky, he kissed her again and stepped back.

"We should go home now," he said to his wife and son. "There is nothing more we can do here."

"Bill," Barb sounded surprised and concerned, she'd half expected he would want to spend the night. "Someone should stay here, in case something happens."

"The doctor will phone if something happens." He didn't see why they had to stay. He was exhausted, and Barb and Ben didn't look any better. "We all need to get some rest, we need to stay strong."

"I can stay, I don't mind." Ben couldn't bear the thought of Margie being alone at the hospital. The doctors said she wouldn't be awake until morning but he didn't want to miss it. She'd been alone and vulnerable when she'd been attacked, he didn't want her to be alone when she woke up. "You two go home. I'll stay, I'll be fine."

"Ben you don't have to do that." Barb didn't like the idea of leaving Margie but she was a little apprehensive about leaving Ben there on his own. "I'll stay with you. Bill you can take the car home, go see Nikki and the rest of the family."

"Barb," Bill really wanted to take his wife home with him. He felt a need to lay down with her, to hold her, and talk this nightmare through. "Come home with me. If Ben wants to stay he can stay but I want you to come home with me, please."

Bill was almost pouting when he finished talking. Barb looked at him, and then every other person in the room. Ben looked okay; he seemed to be as relaxed as anyone could be given the situation.

"Okay," she agreed to leave. She gave Ben one last hug and kissed Margie's forehead then she took Bill's hand and together they walked out the room.


	9. Chapter 9

The next few days were hard on the family. Everyone struggled to find where they belonged, what their role and place would be in this mess. Everyone felt some guilt and responsibility for what had happened and everyone wanted to help make it better. Bill obsessed himself with the investigation, he spent his days with the police and FBI grilling them on what they were doing, trying to offer his help and advice. He didn't go to the hospital, Margene was getting better on her own, she didn't need him to hold her hand, he thought he could be doing more productive things.

Nikki took over running the house, the cooking the cleaning the shopping. She didn't want to go to the hospital, and she didn't want to think about the investigation. She answered questions when she was asked but she didn't seek them out. In all she avoided talking about what was happening, and the boys soon worked out she wasn't the one to answer their questions. Sarah and Scott stayed at the house, they took care of the bulk of the child minding, they were the ones the children turned to, to talk about what was happening. Teeny, Cara-Lyn, and Wayne wanted to talk about it, Raymond stayed rather quiet and the youngest Lester and Aaron didn't understand any of it, they just wanted to where their mom and sister were and when they were going to come home.

Barb floated, she spent a lot of time at the hospital but Bill didn't want her spending the night; that job was left to Ben. Ben didn't leave the hospital; he stayed with Margene as she slowly recovered.

Two days after the attack the doctors had taken Margene off all the sedatives. She was still on strong painkillers which made her drowsy but you could wake her up if you had to. For the most part Ben let her sleep; it was easier than trying to explain to her why Bill wasn't there, to tell her Nell was still missing. She cried a lot when was awake, which lead to her vomiting and the physical pain she was in increasing.

On day three Margene work up to the sound of a nurse puttering around in her room, she was making notes on her chart and checking something beside her bed.

"What time is it?" she asked trying to get her bearings.

"6am," the nurse told her smiling. "How are you feeling today?"

"Okay," she said slowly then a wave of nausea hit. "I'm gonna be sick." She gasped sitting up in the bed. The nurse grabbed a bowl and stuck it under her mouth just in time. The act of vomiting was painful; it pulled and twisted on her injuries, making her eyes water. The woman rubbed her back and placed some cushions behind her so she could lie back in bed.

"How do you feel now?"

She groaned by way of response, she didn't feel okay anymore she felt terrible, the nausea was still running through her and everything hurt. "I feel sick."

The nurse gave her a knowing nod and marked something on her chart. "I'll let your doctor know, he might be able to do something for you," she told her. "Just try and get some rest now."

Margie smiled back and watched the nurse leave the room carrying the bowl then she looked to her side and saw Ben sleeping in the chair by her bed. She couldn't remember a moment Ben hadn't been there with her. She loved that he was there but couldn't help wishing sometimes he was Bill. Bill hadn't been to see her, she knew he was out looking for Nell but she wished he'd come see her too. She missed him and longed for him to comfort her. Ben tried to comfort her, he was really good but he wasn't Bill. She blinked her eyes and tears ran down her face, she wished she didn't feel so sick and tired, she didn't like being at the hospital, she wanted to get out and find her girl. She closed her eyes and fell back into an uneasy sleep.

When she woke up it was an hour later, her doctor was standing at the side of her bed looking at her chart.

"Hey," she said to let him know she was awake. "How do I look?"

"Great," the doctor smiled at her. "Your kidneys are finally working at 100%, your temperature and blood pressure are both normal. How are you feeling?"

She thought about the vomiting and nausea was still there. "Like I'm going to be sick," she told him.

The doctor nodded. "Yes, the nurse mentioned that," he seemed to pause a moment to think. "Aside from that, how's your pain?"

"It only hurts when I vomit,"

"Okay," the doctor reached for one of the machines beside her and began pressing buttons when he was done he turned back to her. "I want to try something for the next few hours," he began to say. "One of the side effects of the pain meds you're on is nausea and vomiting. Right now I've taken you off them. I'll be back later today to see how you're going, in the mean time if the pain gets too bad or you feel worse get the nurse to page me."

"Okay," She wasn't sure if what he'd done was good or bad but at least he'd done something.

She lay in the bed and waited for the pain to hit, for something to happen but nothing did. She fell asleep again and didn't wake up for several hours.

Ben spent a lot of his day watching Margie sleep, he had books and magazines to read and a video game to play with but after a while they got boring or he'd start to enjoy himself a little and feel he had to stop. He wasn't allowed to enjoy himself, he wasn't allowed to feel any sought of positive emotion, it was wrong. At those times he would watch Margie and he'd think and pray.

She didn't sleep peacefully, she'd flinch and shake, sometimes she'd start talking, crying, her face would flicker and he could tell whatever she was dreaming wasn't pleasant. The first few times he'd woke her up from the dreams but soon he realized their reality was a nightmare too, it wasn't any better so now he just let her sleep.

She was having one of those nightmares now, he could see the torment running through her body and then her eyes flew open.

Margie lay on her back; she took deep breaths and tried to calm herself down. She'd been having nightmares again, this time she'd been on a crowed street, ahead of her she could see the man and woman walking along carrying Nell. Nell was crying for her, reaching for her, she tried to run to her but the couple never seemed to get any closer. She yelled for the people around her to help but they just kept walking and then she woke up. She lay on her back waiting for the nausea to hit, for the uncontrollable urge to vomit to take hold of her body but it didn't come. The minutes passed by and she began to think maybe what the doctor had done had worked. She felt better than she had for days, not only was she not feeling sick but her mind felt clearer, the groggy haze she'd been in was gone. She used her arm to try and sit herself up, the movement caused pain to ripple through her. She let out a small moan and Ben reached out for her.

"Margie, are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said trying to work out in her head how bad the pain was, if she could handle it or needed something. She didn't want to take anything, not now that she realised how foggy the meds made her feel. "Can you get the nurse?" She asked deciding it was a little too much.

When the nurse came she told her the doctor said she could have acetaminophen, their hope was the mild drug would be enough to manage her pain and she wouldn't need to go back on the opiates. She swallowed the pills and lay back down to wait for the drugs to kick in.

Within thirty minutes her pain was bearable, she could sit up and roll over without any significant problems and her head still felt clear. With her mind intact she began planning her escape. She didn't want to be in the hospital any longer she needed to get out there and find her daughter. She knew exactly what she wanted; she just needed to get out of the hospital to do it. After lunch she decided to make her move.

"Ben I want to go home." She said to get things started.

"I know," he said not knowing what she was planning. "The hospital sucks but you need to get better."

"I feel better," she with as much determination as she could. "I have to get out of here, I have to find Nell."

Margie's words remained Ben of the first day in the hospital, when Margie had first regained consciousness and she'd tried to climb out the bed and leave. She wasn't trying to climb out now but the same fear and desperation rang in her voice.

"Please Benny I've got to get out of here," she was saying. "I need you to go home and get me some clothes."

"Margie –"

"Please Benny," she begged.

" – I don't think leaving is a good idea. The doctor will tell you when you can leave."

"I'll talk to the doctor," She was working herself up into a real mess. "Please just go home get me some clothes."

She was begging him to go, she was crying and her body was beginning to show the first signs of stress.

"Okay," he agreed to go because he was afraid her heart would stop again. It wasn't likely, she was so much stronger than she'd been that first day but he couldn't help being afraid. He'd seen firsthand how quickly something could go from bad to worse. "I'll go get you some clothes but that doesn't mean we're leaving."

She didn't seem to hear the second half of his sentence. "Thank you Benny," she simply said and he could see the relief rushing over her.

-8-8-8-8-

Nikki and Barb stood in Barb's kitchen; they were watching the FBI pack up all their things. It had been three days since everything had happened and the FBI had told them that morning there was no need for them to stay at the house anymore. They weren't gaining anything by being there and didn't want to intrude on the family's privacy anymore. Both women had told them they could stay, that the family didn't mind, they wanted to make sure their case stayed a priority, that people were still doing everything they could to find Nell and they were afraid them leaving the house might change that. Nothing was going to change their mind though, and they assured the family they were continuing to do everything they could.

Ben pulled his mom's car into the family driveway, it felt strange coming home, he hadn't been there since that night. He climbed out the car and walked to the door; he used his key to open it and stepped inside. The house looked normal, the FBI was gone; he heard noise coming from the kitchen and walked that way.

Ben was the last person Barb and Nikki expected to see when they heard the front door open and close.

"Ben what are you doing home?" Barb asked him. "Is Margie okay?"

"Yes she's fine," Ben said assuring his mom. "She sent me home to get her some clothes. She seems to think the doctor is going to let her come home today."

"Today?" A shocked expression crossed Nikki's face. "She's coming home today?"

"Maybe," Ben shrugged. "I don't know. She wants to go home, she begged me to go get her some clothes so here I am. Can you help me find some stuff?"

"Yeah sure," Barb was the one who stepped forward. "I think there are some of her clothes in my laundry."

"She's not supposed to be coming home today," Nikki said more to herself than anyone else. Barb and Ben were already leaving the room but she didn't move she was thinking about all the things she still needed to do before Margene came home.

Nikki shook her head and walked out the back door; she walked to Margene's house and carefully began pulling off the crime scene tape. They'd been given the all clear to enter the house that morning but so far no one had. She screwed the yellow tape into a ball and then slid the door open. She stepped inside the house and began surveying the work.

The entire down stairs needed to be cleaned, some of the furniture was out of place, there was black finger print dust covering many surfaces, and there was the blood. There was a large pool of it on the wall by the stairs, it seemed to streak sideways a little, she followed it to the ground, there were a series of smaller pools leading to the centre of the room where a massive pool of blood lay.

She walked forward to have a closer look, surrounding the massive pool of blood were dozens of hand and foot prints, some large adult sized but many more small children's' prints. The small prints belonged to the boys, they were all around the massive pool of blood but as she looked closer around the house she could see them in other places too, the front door, the linen closet, the hand rail of the stairs. A shiver ran though her body, she could see her boys everywhere, picture them running around trying to save Margie. She shook her head trying to shake the images lose she didn't want to be picturing it. Then she walked out the house and into her own.

She filled a bucket with warm soapy water grabbed a few rags and sponges and carried them back to Margene's house. She spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning, she scrubbed the walls and carpet, the small marks came off easy enough but there was nothing she could do to get rid of the larger pools of blood. She tried every cleaning trick she knew, she scrubbed until her hands were raw and close to bleeding, she scrubbed until she reached her breaking point and then she began to cry.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: So Big Love is all over but I hope some of you still check out this story. I got a little carried away with this part, sorry it's so long. I hope I've kept the characters in character for you and if you're reading I'd love to hear your thoughts on the story.**

* * *

Margie watched Ben leave her room; she waited five minutes and then asked to speak to the doctor. While she waited she went over in her head what she was going to say, how she was going to convince him she was ready to leave the hospital. When he walked in she had everything all worked but he didn't want to hear any of it. He was pleased that she was feeling good but regardless it was still too soon for her to leave. She begged him to change his mind, tried to explain to him how important it was for her to leave. Eventually he gave her an option, she could sign a form saying she was leaving against medical advice, an AMA he called it. She jumped at the option, getting out of the hospital was more important to her than anything else at that moment. The doctor did not look happy when she signed the form, he tried to change her mind again, and when it became clear she wasn't going to do that he gave her a big long list of symptoms which if she got she need to come right back.

-8-8-8-

Ben walked through the hospital carrying the bag of clothes his mom had picked out for Margene. He honestly didn't expect her to use any of them; there was no way in his mind the doctors were going to let her leave. He expected to walk into the room and find her upset, maybe crying, he was preparing himself to have to comfort her but when he walked in he found her sitting in his chair patiently waiting for her clothes.

"Benny thank you," she told him when he stepped into the room, he handed her the bag, she rummaged through it then stood up. "Give me a few minutes to change and then we're out of here," she told him and she walked to the small bathroom in her room.

-8-8-8-

Ben had done a good job with the clothes Margie thought as she took a closer look at the items he'd brought, he'd even remembered all the things she thought he might forget, underwear, shoes but they were all there. She unclipped the hospital gown and let it fall to the ground, in the mirror she caught a glimpse of her naked body, she had bandages running down the centre of her chest and branching off to the sides and around her back. She reached down and touched them; they hurt a little but not too much. Carefully she slipped on the clothes he'd brought, she was conscious of her movements, it hurt if she twisted or moved the wrong way. When she was ready she stepped out.

"Let's go," she said to him and began to make her way slowly out the hospital.

-8-8-8-

Ben walked after her; it only took a few steps for him to catch up. "Margie are you sure it's okay for you to leave?" He asked, something didn't seem right, it was too soon and he could tell she wasn't right, she was moving well but she kept wincing.

"Yes." She told him and she kept moving forward.

At the front of the hospital Ben told her to wait while he brought the car around. When he came back she slipped inside and let out a long slow breath. "Turn right," she directed him at the main road.

He looked over at her confused. "Marge, home is left."

"I know we're not going home, we're going to VSN."

-8-8-8-

Margene held her head up as she walked into the VSN building, she hadn't been there since the announcement, she hadn't spoken to anyone from there. She'd been avoiding them; waiting for everything to blow over a bit before she'd go back and convince them she was worth keeping. This wasn't how she'd planned her return but VSN seemed to be the only place she could think of. She needed to find Nell, she needed everyone looking for her, she needed to get on the television.

She scanned the offices and corridors looking for Beverly. Finally she spotted her; she was speaking to someone at the end of the corridor. She waited for the other person to walk away and then she called out.

"Beverly," she waited for her to turn around, to look at her before she continued. "I need to speak to you."

"Margene?" The look on Beverly's face was nothing short of surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"My Nell's been taken," she began. "I need to find her; I need to get on the television."

"Margene, I don't think VSN is the right television for you to be on." Beverly talked to her kindly but there was sternness in her voice. "We're home shopping, not news."

"I know," she knew VSN wasn't ideal but she also thought it was right. "But these people, my fans they know me, they'll want to help, they'll find her. Please."

"Want to help you?" Beverly looked at her and shook her head. "You lied to your fans, your brand is trashed. They're not going to want to help you more than any other person."

"Yes they will, I know I lied but I had, I'll make them see." She needed this more than she'd ever needed anything. "Please, please, please." She was begging but there was nothing more she could do.

"Come on Margie lets go." She felt Ben put his hand on her shoulder but she pushed it away.

"Please Beverly," she was starting to tear up, she felt hopeless. She kept her eyes on Beverly watching her, waiting to see some sign she'd change her mind and then she almost smiled.

"Mr Margene Heffman," she said looking straight at Ben. "I guess you're not really her husband, you're her step son?"

"Yes, so?" Ben didn't know what she was getting at; their relationship was irrelevant to the situation.

"Nothing," She shook her head, and something clicked over in her mind, she had a change of heart. "Okay, you can have five minutes. We're shooting in ninety."

Beverly turned and walked away, Margie stood there looking stunned, she'd done it and now she didn't know what to do. "Margie?" she heard Ben's voice beside her and felt his hand rest on her shoulder. "What do we do now?"

"Wait," the word came out her mouth almost breathless and she began walking, Ben walked with her but he didn't say anymore, he followed her through the building and into the studio. There were only a few people there, technicians setting everything up, she looked for an empty chair and found one in front of the makeup stand. She glanced at herself briefly in the mirror; she looked every bit as terrible as she felt. The sorrow was eating at her and she was physically exhausted. "I'm just going to shut my eyes for a bit." She told him before resting her head on the table.

-8-8-8-

Ben watched Margie lay her head on the table, it took less than a minute for her to fall asleep and not for the first time that day he began to worry about her. He could understand how she would think what she was doing would help, he wasn't the type of man to tell her it wouldn't, but he didn't have much faith in it. The story was on the news everywhere, everyone knew what had happened. But the people responsible had gone underground, that was the only reason he could think of for why they hadn't been found, either that or they were long gone. He didn't want to think about them being gone.

With Margie sleeping he pulled out his phone and called home. He spoke to his mom, told her where they were, what they were doing, and when they'd be home. She was as surprised as him to find out the doctor had let Margene leave.

Ten minutes before they were to start filming he shook her awake, as she woke up she looked dazed and confused like she wasn't sure where she was and then he saw the realisation hit.

"Is it time?" She asked him.

"Soon," he told her. "They need to talk to you about how it's going to happen."

"Okay." She looked at herself in the mirror, she looked worse, automatically she ran her hands through her hair trying to smooth it out, it worked a little but there was nothing she could do about her eyes, there was a deep sadness she couldn't hide. She shrugged, sad was okay, she stood up, for a moment she felt dizzy, it passed quickly and she walked over to Beverly.

Beverly was direct with her as she explained what they were going to do. They'd slip her in at the very start, after the intro before the first product. She could say whatever she needed to say but when the time was up that was it. She nodded, agreed, she was starting to feel nervous but not in the good excited way she'd felt when she'd gone live before. No this time she was starting to feel sick, she wanted to vomit and felt like she was going to cry. She was trying to run through what she was going to say but she couldn't think straight.

When it was time for her to go on, Beverly introduced her and she stepped onto the stage, the light shone in her eyes, she blinked, she tried to focus, for a moment she froze and then she started speaking.

"Hi," her voice was shaky, nothing like the confidence she usually showed. "I just want to start off by saying how sorry I am that I lied to you all. It wasn't my intention to deceive you, I just... I had to hide who I really was. I couldn't tell anyone and I hated doing it, I hated not being able to share my true story. Please forgive me." She paused a moment, tried to collect herself, she was already starting break and she hadn't even reached the important stuff. "Please forgive me, I need your help." She lifted up the photo she'd been holding of her and Nell, the image had been taken their last afternoon together, it was the perfect Kodak. "This is my Nell. Three nights ago she was taken from me. A man, he was huge pulled her from my arms, told me I didn't deserve her, that I didn't deserve any of my children. But I do, I love my children." By now the tears were freely flowing down her face. "I need your help to find her. She's just a little girl, she needs her mom. Please, please if you see her, if you know where she is please." She chocked up, she couldn't get the last words out, the important ones the phone number Ben had told her she needed to say. "Please, please..."

Beverly finally realised what was happening, she quickly moved to Margene's side and pulled her to her. "I've got this." She whispered so only Margene could hear and then she looked back at the camera. She finished Margene's plea, added her own few words and then took the show to a commercial break.

As soon as the camera stopped rolling Ben ran onto the stage he pull Margene towards him and she all but fell into his arms. She buried her face into his chest and began sobbing violently. Her whole body shook as her chest heaved, he carefully walked them both off the stage and he sat down on a chair, Margie sat on his lap and she continued to cry. He tried to sooth her, he rubbed her back, and told her it would be okay but it only made her cry harder. She cried until exhaustion hit, until she couldn't cry anymore and started drifting off to sleep.

"Come on Margie lets go home." Ben said when he felt her begin to get heavy against him. She couldn't fall asleep here; the family were waiting for them at home. He began to make the move to stand, she groaned a little as he forced her up, as soon as he was standing she was holding tight to him. They walked back to the car in silence, he helped her get in; made sure her seat belt was on before he went around to his side. By the time they left the parking lot she was already almost asleep.

-8-8-8-

In Barb's house everyone was waiting anxiously for Margene to come home. Her boys were sitting by the windows watching the cars drive by watching for their mom. They hadn't seen her since she'd been taken away in the ambulance; it had been decided as a family it wasn't a good idea to take them to the hospital. They didn't understand what had happened but they were excited about their mom being home. They'd spent most of the day drawing and painting, creating things for her as presents. The older children had been helping, busying themselves with activities, distractions.

Barb had been cooking, she'd pulled out the most complicated time consuming recipes she could find and had been trying them all day. The dinner she'd prepared was bordering on feast like. Nikki had been cleaning, scrubbing Margene's walls and carpet for hours; she'd still be in there if Barb hadn't found her and told her she could stop.

The carpet and the walls still weren't clean but there was nothing Nikki could do to change that, the stains were never going to come out and the sight of them really made the reality of their situation hit home. Nikki was crying when Barb had found her, a raw emotion she rarely showed, it got to Barb and she started crying too. For fifteen minutes they'd sat together on the stairs in Margene's house and cried, tried to make sense of the situation.

"It's never going to be the same." Nikki had finally said. "Even if everything is okay, it won't be the same."

"I know," Barb had said holding out her hand, Nikki had taken it, squeezed it. They'd sat together for a little longer, silently contemplating the future and everything that could be different. Neither one of them had voiced what they were worried about the most, what kept going through their minds. What if they never found Nell? They'd both been thinking it but saying the words out loud made them realer than they were ready for. "Come help me finish dinner." Barb had finally said instead. "Ben and Margie will be home soon." They'd left Margene's house and now they were both in Barb's kitchen waiting.

-8-8-8-

"They're here!"

"Mom's home!"

Aaron and Lester both yelled as the car pulled into the driveway. Nikki and Barb both walked over to the window and looked out between the curtains. Ben was opening the passenger door and helping Margene out.

"Barb she doesn't look right." Nikki whispered. Margie could barely stand on her own, Ben was holding tightly onto her and walking her forward, her head was slumped to the side, it was too dark to make out her features.

"I know," Barb whispered back. "Let's just keep an eye on her."

-8-8-8-

She was finally home, after days in the hospital she was finally home. She let Ben walk her forward, she was so exhausted, she needed sleep but she wanted to see her family first. The front door was open for them, just inside the doorway stood her two boys. They had big smiles on their faces and as soon as she was inside they had their arms wrapped around her.

"Mommy," they were both saying. "We missed you."

She ran her hands across their backs and tears began to run down her face, she'd missed them too, she'd missed everyone.

"Come on boys let mom sit down." Barb said as she walked over to her and placed her own arms around her. "I'm glad you're home Margie." She whispered.

Margie didn't say anything back; she was feeling overwhelmed and empty all at the same time. She loved her family but they weren't whole. She blinked her eyes tight and let more tears ran down her face; they led her over to the sofa and helped her sit down.

Her boys cuddled up on either side of her and showed all the pictures they'd done for her. She tried to smile but her heart just wasn't in it, she couldn't stop the tears.

"Mommy, why are you crying?" Aaron asked her. "Don't you like the pictures?"

"No sweetie," she pulled her boys tighter to her, "I love the pictures, I'm just ..." She trailed off she didn't know how to explain to her boys what she was feeling. She leant forward and kissed each of them on the forehead. "I love you so much." She whispered and more tears ran down her face.

"Mommy," Lester looked up at her. "Where's Nell? I thought she was with you."

"No," She shook her head but she couldn't say anymore.

"Mommy?"

-8-8-8-

Barb could see Margie was breaking all over. "Boys how about you go help set the table for dinner," she suggested. She knew she needed to get the boys away; they were too much for her to handle in that moment. The boys reluctantly got up and ran off to the kitchen.

Barb took their place on the sofa and wrapped her arm around Margie, pulled her in and held her. Neither one of them said a word, they just sat there until Aaron returned and said dinner was ready.

-8-8-8-

Aaron took his mom's hand and led her to the dining table. He didn't understand why she was so sad he thought it had something to do with his sister but he wasn't sure and didn't know how to ask. He just wanted her to be happy.

"You can sit between me and Lester." He told her, he pulled out her chair like he'd seen his dad do and waited for her to sit down.

"Thanks buddy," she said to him but she didn't smile. He wanted to make her smile so he tried to be more helpful. He poured her a glass of water and put all his own food on his plate. He made sure he got his vegetables and even took some of the funny looking things Barb had made. He started to eat and then he realised she didn't have any food on her plate. He stopped eating and dished a little bit of everything onto her plate.

"Try it mommy it's yummy." He told her.

"Thanks Aaron," she told him but she still didn't smile. Barb smiled at him but that wasn't what he wanted.

-8-8-8-

Aaron was trying so hard, Margie could tell what he wanted but she just couldn't bring herself to give it to him. She wanted to go lay down, she felt like she was going to pass out, she wasn't hungry but she picked up her fork and ate a little bit of carrot. She needed to be present for a little while, the whole family was at the dinner table for her, Lester, Aaron, Raymond, Wayne, Teeny, Cara-Lyn, Ben, Sarah, Scott, Nikki, Barb. Bill wasn't there, and neither was Nell.

"Where's Bill?" she asked making her first real contribution for the evening.

"Out," the response came from Sarah and there was just a hint of hostility to it. Scott gave her a warning look but she didn't seem to care. "He's with the police or something. He's never home."

"Oh, okay," She hadn't expected Bill to be gone; he never visited her in the hospital she thought he must have been home.

"He knows you're home tonight." Nikki told her. "He said he'd be here when he can."

"Okay," she didn't have the energy for anymore conversation. "I think I might just go to bed." She wiped her mouth with her napkin and went to rest it on the table.

"Mommy you haven't finished eating." Aaron told her. He was using her words, she always told him that if he tried to run off and play too soon. She looked at the pile of food on her plate; she didn't want to eat any of it.

"Mommy's not feeling well," she told him. "You don't have to eat all your dinner when you don't feel well." She leant forward and kissed his head then she slowly stood up.

She felt dizzy when she stood and held onto the table and then the chair for balance. The room was spinning a bit and it reminded her of when she'd been drunk as a teenager. She didn't want to show how sick she felt but by the looks everyone was giving her she wasn't doing it very well.

"Barb set up her spare room for you," Nikki told her. "You can sleep there if you want."

"No," she was longing for the comfort and familiarity of her own bed. "I want to sleep in my bed. I can sleep in my bed right?" It hadn't occurred to her before than she might not be able to, that her home might still be off limits.

"Of course," Barb smiled at her. "We weren't sure if you'd want to."

"I want to," as nervous as going back to her house made her feel she wanted her bed. She stood there for a moment trying to work out if there was anything else she needed to say, she couldn't think of anything. "Goodnight." She slowly began to turn to walk away, the movement intensified the illness she was feeling, she gripped tightly onto the chair for support and waited for the feeling to pass.

Nikki saw Margie sway; she could tell something was not right. "Margie, I'll come with you," she told her. She didn't want her walking into that house by herself and looking at her she wasn't even sure if she could. Nikki stood up and walked around the table; she placed her hand on Margene's back and gently moved her forward.

They walked slowly across the backyard. "I'm sorry your house isn't clean." Nikki said as they walked. "I didn't know you'd be home today. I was going to paint the walls and change the carpet but I didn't have time. I tried to scrub it but it wouldn't all come out."

"It's okay," Margie hadn't thought about her house and the state it would be in, she hadn't thought about how it would be different. Nikki slid the back door open and they stepped into the house together. It was dark, the only light was from moon, but they could still see a bit. They didn't turn on the light instead they moved slowly forward.

Margie looked around her house, tried to spot what was different but in the dim light it all looked the same. Nothing was different, but at the same time everything was different, nothing would ever be the same as before. They reached the stairs and Nikki finally flicked a light switch. As they moved up the stairs Margie didn't look back, she kept her eyes forward and concentrated on getting to her room.

She flopped down on her bed as soon as she was close enough. It felt so good to lie down, to not have to concentrate on staying upright.

"Margie you can't sleep in that dress." She heard Nikki tell her. She didn't respond she was so tired she could sleep in anything. She heard Nikki going through her draws and a minute later felt her taking off her shoes. "Come on Margie sit up." Nikki said while gently pulling her. She groaned she didn't want to move but she reluctantly sat up. She let Nikki pull at the dress she was wearing and lifted her arms above her head.

Nikki looked away as she pulled Margie's dress over her head. She didn't want to look at her sister wife's body, but she couldn't help noticing the bandages, there were more bandages than she was expecting, more trauma than she had realised. She quickly picked up the satin night gown she'd grabbed before and slipped it over Margie's head. As soon as the gown was on Margie pulled the bed sheets loose and crawled under them, she closed her eyes and it was almost like she was instantly asleep.

"Goodnight Margie," Nikki whispered before walking out, she took two steps before she heard Margie speak.

"Nikki can you stay for a bit?"

"Sure," she walked back into the room, sat down and waited for Margie to fall into a deep sleep.

-8-8-8-

Bill sat alone in his church, he'd come to the building to pray, to talk to Heavenly Father, to ask him why this was happening to his family, what he'd done to cause it, what he could do to make it better, to right the path they were on.

He didn't understand why this was happening to his family, he was a righteous man, he believed whole heartedly in his religion, he lived by it, he lived it for his family. These things weren't supposed to happen. Going public was meant to be good for the family, they were supposed to come into the light and everyone was supposed to see the good in them. His family wasn't meant to get hurt, not like this.

He'd failed his family, he'd brought this upon them and he didn't know how to right it. Finding his daughter was the only thing he could think of to do. He had to bring Nell home but he didn't know how he was supposed to do that. The police and the FBI were working on it, he'd tried to help them, but he'd given them all the information he could and now they wanted him to step back, to be with his family and let them do their job.

He couldn't face his family though; there was such a deep sadness and tension in the air. Everyone was doing their best to hold together, no one was acting normal. His oldest children were hostile to him; he could feel them blaming him for what had happened. His youngest children clung to him like they were afraid he'd leave them too. His middle children were indifferent; they barely acknowledged his presence and his wives were all over the place.

Both Nikki and Barb said they didn't blame him for what had happened; Barb made a point of telling him this often but he could feel a bit of blame from Nikki, she was colder to him than normal and they both kept telling him he needed to spend more time with Margene.

He'd only visited Margene that one time in the hospital. She'd been asleep so he hadn't had to talk to her. He didn't know what he was supposed to say to her, nothing he could say would change what had happened, could make it better. He didn't want to face her without good news.

He'd spent most of his day at the mall walking around handing out flyers to everyone, Nell's face was out there everywhere but it didn't feel like it was helping. He felt completely inadequate, and useless. He didn't want to go home, but he knew he couldn't stay out all night; eventually he left the church and returned home. He was glad that Margene was already asleep when he arrived. He climbed into the bed beside her, kissed her softly and went to sleep.

-8-8-8-

Margie dreamed about her family, they were all having a picnic together, they had a feast of food and everyone was happy and laughing. There was a playground and a big open space. The children had run off to play and she was sitting under a tree watching them. Bill was with her, she was leaning back against him and he had his arms around her. Barb and Nikki were close by, it was beautiful and perfect. Then she heard Nell start to cry, she sat up and looked around but she couldn't see her. She stood up and started walking towards the boys but Nell wasn't there and the screaming just kept getting louder, and then she woke up.

She sat bolt upright in bed, she could still hear the screaming. She climbed out the bed and stumbled to the door, she walked to Nell's room but the bed was empty.

"Nell?" She said her daughter name and kept looking; she opened every cupboard and every draw. Her daughter wasn't there but she could still hear her crying. She stumbled out the room and down the stairs. She looked around, she couldn't see her but she could still hear her.

"Nell it's okay, mommy's here." She said as she began frantically searching the cupboards and draws. The crying was getting louder but she couldn't work out where it was coming from. She opened the back door and searched the yard. "Nell baby mommy's here." She said as the panic built up inside of her, her daughter was crying, she needed her mom. She stumbled back inside, she went to the front door, opened it, nothing, she spun around and the moonlight caught something on the ground.

She walked back inside the house, towards the shadow on the carpet. "Nell?" she whispered crouching down to examine the shadow, it hadn't been there before, she didn't know what it was until she was right there on top of it. And then it was like someone hit her across the face and she remembered what happened. The shadow was her blood; it was the spot where she lay as the man ripped Nell from her arms. She lay down over the shadow and started violently sobbing, she could still hear her daughters cries but she knew now they were just in her head, her daughter wasn't there.

-8-8-8-

Bill woke up in the middle of the night, the bed beside him was empty, Margie was gone. He waited a moment maybe she'd just gone to the bathroom but then he heard crying coming from downstairs. He pulled himself out of bed and went to investigate, he went down the stairs and there he saw Margie lying on the floor.

"Margie?" He walked over and crouched beside her. "Margie, sweetie?" He reached down and placed his hand on her forehead, she was incredibly warm.

She looked up at him, her eyes were glassy and her face streaked in tears. "She's crying Bill," she told him. "I can hear her crying but I can't find her."

He wasn't sure what he was supposed to say, he bent down and kissed her then told her he'd be right back. He retrieved the thermometer from the first aid kit, he crouched down beside her and carefully placed the device in her ear. A few seconds later it beeped and he stared at the number in front of him, 104.5, shit he thought to himself and then he reached for the phone.

-8-8-8-

The flashing lights and noises downstairs woke Lester up. He knew the lights meant something bad had happened, he shook his brother awake and the two of them stood looking out their window. They saw their mom get loaded into the back of an ambulance and their dad jump into his car and drive away.

"Boys?" Behind them they heard someone speak, they turned around and saw their mother Barb standing in their doorway.

"Where's Mom going?" Lester asked.

"The hospital," Barb told them, as she stepped into their room. "She's sick and the doctors need to make her better. You guys are going to spend the rest of the night at my house. We'll talk more in the morning."


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Wow it's been so long since I updated this, sorry about that. Lets just say life got in the way of writing and I really wanted to achieve more in this part than I did, but I think I'll have to leave that for the next part. I hope there are a few still reading this. Enjoy.**

* * *

Bill stood in the emergency department of the hospital feeling useless and scared. There were doctors and nurses moving all around Margene, sticking her with needles, taking her blood, attaching her to monitors. She was so out of it she reacted little to their touch. She just kept muttering about hearing Nell but not being able to find her.

Finally a doctor walked over to him and spoke to him directly about what was happening. She was going to be admitted and moved to the ICU as soon as possible. They wouldn't know exactly what was wrong until all the tests came back but he was certain she had a severe infection which was spreading throughout her body. Her condition was serious and the doctor refused to say yes when Bill asked him directly if she'd be okay.

For hours Bill sat by Margie's bedside, waiting for the doctors to decide what they wanted to do. They were pumping her body full of antibiotics as well as medicine to bring her fever down and her blood pressure up but they couldn't decide if surgery would help. While he waited he prayed constantly, he begged heavenly father to show him his plan, to give him understanding, tell him why his family were suffering like they were. He didn't get the answers he wanted but he wasn't yet at the point where he'd start to question his faith, he needed his faith, he laid blessings on Margie and prayed for her recovery. He felt like he had done this to her, that he was responsible and he longed to take away her pain and make it better. She was sleeping now but he could tell it wasn't a peaceful sleep, there was pain on her face, and when she'd wake up it was in a state of panic.

Eventually the doctor returned to speak to him, they were going to take her up for surgery in a few minutes. It had been decided that removing as much infected tissue as possible would give her the best chance of recovery. Bill stayed with her until they wheeled her away. As she left the room the doctor spoke to him again, he told him the surgery was going to take several hours and he should go home, get some sleep, maybe shower, Bill nodded and walked out the hospital. He was glad to leave; he didn't like sitting there when there was nothing he could do.

-8-8-8-

Ben lay on his back staring at the ceiling, he'd been woken when the ambulance had arrived and he couldn't go back to sleep. He knew Margie was really sick and he couldn't help kicking himself for letting her leave the hospital that day. He felt like he should have stopped her but who was he to argue with the doctor. From beneath him he heard the front door open and close, he heard footsteps in the kitchen. He wondered who was there and pulled himself out of bed.

Halfway down the stairs he saw who was making the noise, his father stood there gulping down a glass of water.

"Dad what are you doing home?" he asked as soon as he was close enough.

His father jumped spilling some of the water, "Ben, I didn't think anyone would be up."

"I couldn't sleep," he said moving the rest of the way down the stairs. "What are you doing home?"

His father looked back at him like it was a strange question to ask. "I came home to get some sleep." He told him.

"What about Margie?" He didn't understand how his father could have left the hospital. "You left her there alone?"

"No," his father's voice got stern. "She's got doctors and nurses with her. She's in surgery the doctor said it was going to take a while."

"So you came home?"

"Yes."

"Leaving her there alone?"

"No." Bill didn't understand what his son's problem was. "She's being taken care of Ben."

Ben ran his hands through his hair in frustration, his dad didn't understand, she couldn't be alone, that was how this all happened in the first place. "She can't be alone," he almost yelled before he turned around and walked back up the stairs. He went to his bedroom pulled on a pair of jeans, a sweatshirt, and grabbed his wallet. His father was still standing in the kitchen when he came back down.

"Ben where are you going?" He asked him.

"The hospital." He replied and he walked straight out the door.

Bill shook his head but he didn't go after his son. The night had been long and stressful, he was exhausted, he needed to get some sleep so he could be there for the hard stuff. While Margie was in surgery all he could do was wait. He put his glass down on the bench and walked up the stairs to his bedroom.

Barb lay asleep on her side; her arms were wrapped loosely around Aaron and Lester. He smiled at the picture and quickly changed; he crawled into the bed beside Barb and wrapped his arm around her. She woke at his touch and turned her head to look at him.

"How's Margie?" She asked.

"Not good," he whispered shaking his head. "She's in surgery; we've got to go back in a few hours." Then he lent down, kissed her softly and added. "I'm going to try and get some sleep. It's going to be a long day."

-8-8-8-

Long day was an understatement, the day wasn't just long it was onerous, Bill only slept for a couple of hours before he pulled himself out of bed, showered and then gathered his family in Barb's family room. He'd been thinking about what Ben had said to him, what his wives had been saying to him for days. He wasn't being the leader his family needed, he'd been absent because he didn't want to face them and the situation they were in head on. He'd been taking the easy route, focusing on the one thing he thought he could change, but looking for Nell was futile, the police and the FBI were in a much better position to do that, he needed to be home, he needed to be with his family. He gazed at his family huddling together on the large sofa; they were all still in their pyjamas and looked half asleep.

"Where's Margene?" Cara-Lyn asked noticing the absence of the mother she'd always treated more like a sister.

"She had to go back to the hospital." Bill told her and that began the discussion he should have had with his family days ago. It had been almost a week since their world had been torn apart, they couldn't keep pretending it wasn't happening, denying their reality. He explained to the children that their mom was very sick and would need to stay at the hospital for a while so she could get better. They asked when she'd be home, he had to tell them he didn't know, and then they asked him if they could visit her. He told them yes even though Barb and Nikki had agreed before it would be best to keep the children away from the hospital, he was certain Margie would need her children if she was going to get better. Aaron asked when Nell was coming home, he said he missed her. Bill gulped and phrased his answer as best he could; he didn't have anything better than "I don't know". He told them the police were looking for the people who took her but they hadn't found them yet. The younger children seemed satisfied with his answer but the older children could hear what his words weren't saying. It had been almost a week since she'd been taken, the chance of them finding her were slipping by the day. After he'd finished talking and all their questions had been asked he told the kids he was going to go to the hospital with Barb that they needed to be good for Nikki and he'd find out when they could go visit.

-8-8-8-

When Bill and Barb arrived at the hospital Margene had only just come out of surgery. Ben had just sat down in her room and the doctor was walking out. In the corridor they stopped and talked. The surgery had gone well, they'd achieved what they needed to but it would be sometime before they'd know if it was enough. Her test results had come back and the infection was in her blood. They were pumping her full of antibiotics to treat it but it wasn't going to be a quick fix, she had a fight on her hands. She was going to need lots of rest and lots of support to get her through this. Bill thanked the doctor and walked into the room. He gave his son a nod but didn't say anything; he walked straight to Margie and very gently brushed her hair away from the side of her face.

"Don't wake her," Ben told him but he didn't say anything back, he knew not to wake her, he wasn't going to wake her, he just wanted to touch her. He bent down and kissed her very softly by the temple, and then he whispered to her the words he wanted to be true more than anything.

"Everything will be okay."

_Everything will be okay, Bill's words permeated into Margene's dream and they were so. In her dream everything was okay. Bill was with her, holding her and they were watching the children play._

She let out a soft moan and Bill stepped away. He pulled up a chair next to her bed and so began his first day of bedside vigil. He found the process frustrating he didn't like just sitting there. He felt like he wasn't doing anything to help but his family assured him he was, it was important he was there for the moments when Margie woke up. She slept most of the time but every few hours she'd come to. Sometimes it was a slow gradual thing, she'd moan, begin to fidget and then when Bill would reach out and touch her, say her name she'd open her eyes. Sometimes she'd say his name, other times she'd just look at him and almost smile, he'd talk to her, touch her, she didn't say much back and she'd quickly drift back to sleep. Other times she'd wake up suddenly, the difference between her reality and dreams blurred, she'd be in a state of panic and terror, she'd try to climb out of bed and fight anyone who tried to touch her. Those times Bill would hold her tight, talk her out of the panic she was in, bring her back to reality. When she'd finally come to, snap out of her nightmare induced terror she'd fold into his arms and cry herself back to sleep.

-8-8-8-

The days merged into a continuous blur, time was punctuated by the dimming of lights and the hospital meals which arrived like clockwork. Margie was never hungry, the food all tasted like cardboard but the threat of having a tube run through her nose was enough to make her slowly eat. She knew she needed the food to get better but she'd slipped into a depression so deep she wasn't sure she wanted to. She missed her daughter terribly but more than that she felt like she'd failed her. She hadn't been able to protect her and now she was gone, letting herself go almost seemed like a good option. The thing which stopped her giving up completely was her boys. Two or three times a day someone would bring her boys to see her. They'd show her pictures they'd drawn or painted and then climb up on her bed and cuddle with her while they'd watch a movie. It was while her boys were with her that she felt her best but she still couldn't shake the sadness and despair which gripped her. She knew she wasn't getting better as fast as she should, she wasn't getting worse but her improvements were limited. She felt constantly tired and weak, she wasn't allowed out of bed but even if she was she didn't think she'd have the strength to take more than a few steps. The state of health she'd felt when she'd left the hospital against the doctor's wishes was long gone, this infection had hold of her and she couldn't shake it, it was like nothing she'd ever felt.

-8-8-8-

Barb and Nikki stood silently in the kitchen with Cara-Lyn, cutting up fruit for breakfast. Almost two weeks had past, Margie was still in the hospital and Nell was still missing. There was a constant uneasiness in the air, the worse case scenarios everyone had been thinking about were becoming closer to reality. It would be several weeks at the earliest before Margie would be home and if she didn't make significant improvements soon they were going to have to start considering long term problems she might have; and then there was Nell, every day she was gone the chance of finding her slipped more and more.

"Mama?" Cara-Lyn said breaking the silence. "What if the police don't find Nell? What's going to happen?"

Nikki and Barb both stopped working, for a moment they didn't look up and then they both turned to each other. Neither of them knew what to say, Cara-Lyn had asked the question they'd both been thinking but not wanted to say.

"They're going to find her," Nikki said still not wanting to put into words, describe, imagine what the family would be like any other way.

"But what if they don't?" Cara-Lyn, pushed the question, she wanted to talk about it. "I've been googling this stuff and –"

"Don't say it," Nikki cut her daughter off.

"But Mama,"

"Don't say it," Nikki said again, this time slower, clearer, the frantic tone was gone replaced almost by a threat.

Cara-Lyn looked to Barb, she wanted to talk about it but her other mother didn't seem to want to either.

"We'll work it out if it happens." Barb said trying to give a non answer; she didn't want to have this conversation not yet.

"When will that be?" Cara-Lyn asked, she thought it was already happening.

"Hopefully never," Barb replied and she turned away to pull some bowls out the cupboard. "Will you tell everyone breakfast is ready."


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Here is a little more to keep the story moving.**

* * *

Aaron and Lester pulled at Barb's arms, they wanted to run but they knew that wasn't allowed in the hospital. They were on their way to visit their mom and they had a surprise for her, something which they were sure she'd like and would make her smile. Making her smile was what they wanted to do more than anything, sometimes she did, they'd get the tiniest hint of a smile when they'd show her drawings but she hadn't really smiled, they wanted a real smile, they wanted her to light up. They missed that part of their mom, she was always so sad but they thought they had just the right things.

Their mom was asleep when they reached her room, she was always sleeping, always tired. Their dad was sitting with her writing in a note book; he smiled at them and stood up.

"Boys try not to wake your mom up," he told them before ushering Barb out the room.

They smiled at each other, pulled the chair their dad had been sitting in right up to the side of the bed and climbed up. Their dad always told them to try not to wake their mom but they always did.

"Mom, it's morning, time to wake up." Aaron called but she didn't wake.

"Mom wake up," Lester followed poking her in the arm, she groaned but her eyes stayed closed.

"Mom," they said together and they both poked her. "Wake up." She let out a louder groan and her eyes flicked open.

Margie blinked a few times taking in the faces of her sons. They had mischievous little grins on and she could just feel the energy and excitement balled up inside them waiting to explode.

"Hey boys," she said giving them the tiniest of smiles. It wasn't a real smile but it was something, her boys loved it when she'd smile, they'd light up and it was almost enough to make her happy. "What have you brought today?"

They always brought her something, she loved the little things they'd bring, she loved listening to them tell her all about them. They were on a constant mission to make her happy, smile, laugh. They'd got her to smile a few times, but not laugh, and happy seemed like such a foreign thing, she was having a hard time imagining ever being happy again.

They reached into the pockets of their jackets and each pulled out a small jar. "We found them in the garden," Lester started telling her. "This is Herbie."

"And this is Mary," Aaron finished. They held out the jars and she reached out and took the one with Herbie in it. Her boys smiled eagerly at her waiting for her reaction. She turned the jar over in her hand starting at its content, there were leaves and twigs and rocks and the tiniest bit of water. It took a while for her to spot the creature they had brought and then she saw it, a tiny frog.

She let a smile spread across her face; it was the tinniest cutest frog she'd ever seen. "You caught this in our garden?" she asked.

"Yep," Lester nodded, "he was in the swimming pool. Ben helped us get him out."

"Wow, I've never seen a frog in the swimming pool before." She said mustering all the enthusiasm she could. "And what about Mary is she a frog too?"

"Nope," they both shook their heads and Aaron handed her the jar. "Look."

She placed Herbie's jar on the table by her bed and took Mary's. Again the jar was full of leaves and twigs, it took a while for her to spot the creature, and then she saw the red poking out from under a leaf. "A ladybug," she exclaimed and she felt her smile spread to her eyes.

"Yep," her boys nodded and their faces lit up. "Do you like them?"

"I love them," she told them. "Come up here and give me a hug." She patted the space on either side of her and the boys quickly pulled off their shoes and climbed up. They snuggled in tight beside her and she wrapped her arms around them. "I love you boys so much," she told them kissing each of them on the head.

"We love you too mommy," they said back to her and for a while they just sat there holding each other. Margie breathed in their scent; she wanted to hold on to as much of her boys as she could.

"Mommy," Lester said after a while, "when are you coming home?"

"I don't know sweetie," she kissed his head again. "Soon I hope."

"Me too," Lester continued. "Barb and Nikki say we have to sleep at their houses. We miss our room."

"I do too," she said back. "I promise it won't be much longer, I'll be home soon."

"Mommy," Aaron was the one asking questions now, "Are the police going to find Nell?"

For a moment Margie felt her breath get taken away, she couldn't help reacting that way when anyone mentioned her girl. She wasn't ready to give up hope but she was aware of the statistics. "I hope so," she told them, "I hope they find her," and a tear ran down her cheek.

"Me too," Aaron said back, "I miss her."

Margie gulped, she felt a lump form in her throat and she couldn't speak, she kissed both her boys and pulled them tighter to her. They just sat there holding her, they knew they'd made her cry and they wanted her to make her stop but they didn't know how.

-8-8-8-

Bill led Barb out the room and down the corridor to a small waiting area where they could talk. He wasn't worried about leaving the boys alone with Margie though he knew they would wake her up. They always woke her up but waking to her boys was the best thing she could wake to.

"How was Margie last night?" Barb asked.

"Okay," Bill answered trying to recall the night before, the days and night were starting to blur into a continuous loop for him too. "Her fever spiked again and she woke up screaming but it's come back down a bit."

"What did the doctors say?"

"Not a lot," he shrugged. "The infection is still there, they're going to try a different antibiotic see if that helps."

"Okay," Barb nodded, Margie's condition worried her but there wasn't anything she could do about it.

"How's everyone at home?" Bill asked he'd been at the hospital since noon yesterday.

"Okay," Barb said before she reconsidered her response. "The kids are starting to ask more questions. Cara-Lyn asked what would happen if the police don't find Nell."

Bill gulped and ran his hand though his hair, he didn't want to talk about this anymore than his wives did. "What did you tell her?"

"I told her I don't know, that we'd worry about it if it happens."

"Good," he nodded, he liked that. "The police are still looking it hasn't happened yet."

"I know," Barb responded, "not yet but Bill..."

"I know," Bill answered reading her thoughts. It hadn't happened yet but it could very soon. He ran his hands through his hair again, trying to think what he should do and then his phone started ringing. He pulled the device out his pocket and stared at the caller ID. "The police," he mouthed before answering. "Hello."

Barb waited almost holding her breath as she listened to Bill's side of the conversation. It had been a few days since the police had phoned; they said they wouldn't phone unless they had some information.

"Yes...Okay...You found her? ...Okay, right when will you know...Now? ...Okay I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

Bill hung up the phone, looked at Barb and gave her the biggest smile. "They might have found her," he said trying to contain the excitement he was feeling. "A couple got stopped trying to cross the border into Canada this morning with a girl they didn't have paper for. They match the description."

"Wow," Barb's mouth hung open, they'd finally got the call they'd been waiting for.

"They want me to go down to the station right away," Bill started saying. "I have to go." He stepped forward and gave Barb a kiss; she pulled him tight and hugged him.

"It's going to be okay," she whispered,"it's Nell; it's going to be Nell."

Bill smiled and nodded, he wasn't going to disagree with her, he felt the same way but there was still that slither of doubt. "I have to go," he said again letting go of her. "You can't tell Margie anything until we know for sure."

"I know," Barb told him and she watched him take off down the corridor.

She was smiling like she hadn't in days and she could feel bubbles of excitement building inside of her. She bit her lip and told herself to contain her feelings. They didn't know if the girl they'd found was Nell, it could be someone else's child, there were lots of children missing and they were all the way up near Canada. Canada was a long way from Sandy, these people if it was them had already got around many road blocks. She had this feeling of disbelief, like why weren't they stopped sooner, she'd expected them to be found so much closer to home. She had a good feeling about it but she didn't want to get her hopes up and more importantly she didn't want to get Margie's hopes up. If Margie got her hopes up and it turned out this little girl wasn't Nell, she was afraid it would send her into a downward spiral not even her boys would be able to get her out of.


	13. Chapter 13

Arriving at the police station Bill was almost out of breath. He felt like he'd been running a mile but it been only a few yards from the parking lot. He was feeling the adrenalin running through him, he hadn't felt this alive in days. He looked around the office scanning for a familiar face, someone he recognized, then he saw the FBI agents and detectives he'd been working with step out of a conference room.

"Where is she? Is it Nell?" he asked walking quickly towards them.

"She's still up there, we don't know if it's Nell yet." The agent told him before turning him around and heading for the doors. "There was a storm in the area, knocked out all the communication. We don't have a photo."

"Is she okay?" Bill cut in from the agent's explanation. He didn't need the details just the important bits. He needed to know if the kid was okay even if it wasn't Nell, he wanted the kid to be okay.

"As far as we know she's fine," the agent told him. "They've taken her to the hospital to get checked out but there didn't appear to be anything wrong."

"Good," Bill said and felt himself breathe little easier. "Where are we going?" They'd just stopped outside the station and were heading towards the cars.

"The airport." The agent told him, "We're going to get the child."

-8-8-8-8-

The plane landed a couple hours later, Bill hadn't said much during the flight, he'd listened to the agents talk about what was going to happen, how they were going to do it but for the most part he just sat in quiet contemplation. He prayed to heavenly father, he was still waiting to be shown his plan, to know why this was happening.

The town they needed to go to was another half hour from the airport, as they drove further into the wilderness Bill began to realise how lucky they'd been to stop the couple. They'd almost got out the country, almost got away. As they got closer to the town the roads got wider, signs of civilisation began to appear and the town turned out to be bigger than he thought. They were isolated but they had everything including a small hospital where Nell was being looked after.

Bill went with one of the agents straight to the hospital, as they walked inside he felt a combination of anxiousness, dread and excitement. He felt for sure it was going to be his girl; he wasn't sure what he'd do if it wasn't, how he would feel. After talking with staff they were directed to the children's ward and a small room used as a play area. The agent opened the door, inside the room was a volunteer, and playing in the corner with a tea set was a little girl. She didn't turn around as they walked in, she just kept playing. Bill gulped, he wasn't sure if it was his daughter, she looked different, her hair was shorter and darker and the outfit she wore was completely black, Margie always dressed her in pretty colours.

"Nell?" he said, his voice shaking just a little. The little girl turned around and looked at him. As soon as he saw her face he had no doubt it was his girl.

"Daddy," she said and she ran towards him.

He scooped her into his arms and hugged her tightly. He felt an immense feeling of relief run through him. Finally for the first time in two weeks he really felt like everything would be okay, that his family would survive and be able to move forward. He turned to the agent standing beside him.

"What happens now?" He asked, he had Nell back now he needed to get home.

-8-8-8-8-

Barb was acting strange, she wasn't talking as much as she usually did and whenever she did it was always short sharp and to the point. Margie had a feeling something was up but she didn't want to voice it, she didn't want to ask the questions in case she didn't like the answers. Bill had left quite suddenly earlier, he hadn't even said goodbye, and now Barb kept looking at her watch. The thought that they'd found Nell kept running through her mind but if they'd found her why hadn't they told her. Doubt and fear kept running through her head, maybe they'd found her but she wasn't okay. That thought made her feel sick all over but she knew it was a real possibility, she'd watched enough news stories to know children taken like Nell was didn't always come back okay, sometimes they didn't come back at all. She was afraid that's what was happening, and they were waiting for Bill to come back to tell her. The thought made sense, they'd let her boys stay with her all day, they never let her boys stay this long but all day they'd been curled up on either side of her watching movies. Barb's phone rang and she walked out the room. Margie closed her eyes and began trying to brace herself for the new which was coming.

Barb was gone for a long time, when she came back she had the doctor with her and he was pushing a wheelchair.

"Barb what's going on?" she asked, the words coming out her mouth slowly and full of doubt.

"Nothing," Barb said, she sounded normal but the look on her face said something was going on. "I thought you might like to go outside for a bit, get some fresh air."

"I think it's a good idea," the doctor added, "it might give your body the push it needs to get better."

"Okay," she knew there was something they weren't saying but she was willing to go along with it, outside might be nice for a bit and her boys both seemed to be jumping at the idea.

It took ten minutes for them to get her ready, they wrapped half a dozen blankets around her body before helping her into the wheelchair, and then scarf, beanie, gloves, and another blanket were added. It was cold outside and they didn't want her to catch a chill. Barb pushed her chair out the room and along the corridors, her boys walked and skipped along beside her.

They made their way to the hospital garden, it was a courtyard area with some benches, a water feature, and a small children's playground. The boys ran off to play while Barb positioned her chair beside one of the benches before sitting down herself. There was no one else in the garden.

"Barb what's going on?" she asked again.

"Nothing," Barb told her, "I just thought you'd like to come outside for a bit. Don't you like it?"

"I do," she said, she did like being outside, "but there is something you're not telling me. I can tell."

"Margie," Barb reached out and placed her hand on hers, she smiled but her eyes gave her away. Margie saw the sadness, the desire to tell her something and not being able to.

"Have they found Nell?" she asked thinking that was the only thing it could be. "Is she...?" She couldn't even say the words, they chocked up in her throat and tears started running down her face.

Barb looked away, she had to steady herself, keep her face clear, she wanted to tell Margie Bill had Nell; that her daughter was fine but Bill had thought it would be nice to surprise her. She looked down at her watch, where was Bill he should have been there by now.

"Barb tell me." Margie's voice was shaking, this wasn't good for her, she was going to make herself sick.

Barb turned to look at her again, her eyes and cheeks were red from crying but the rest of her was so pale. "Everything is going to be okay." She told her, she moved as close to her as she could and drew her close, "It's going to be okay." That was the closest she could get without telling her everything. "It will be okay."

Margie trusted Barb, she tried to believe the words she was hearing but she couldn't, not until Nell was safe in her arms could she begin to believe that everything would be okay. While Barb held her she watched her boys play, they were running up and down the slide acting like the little boys which they were. They'd be okay she thought, no matter what happens her boys would be okay, they'd be able to get through.

She watched as they both climbed the slide, and stood at the top of the platform. They waved, and she thought they were waving at her but then they both yelled out in unison "Daddy" and ran down the slide. She let go of Barb and looked over her shoulder, walking through the doorway was Bill, and in his arms was Nell.

At the sight of her daughter she felt her heart flutter. The despair she'd been feeling twisted and she didn't know what to do. She wanted to run towards them but the mass of blankets held her to the chair. As they got closer Bill placed Nell on the ground and she watched her girl run towards her.

"Mommy," she cried out, "Mommy."

Margie smiled and she tried not to cry but she couldn't stop the tears. Barb picked Nell up when she was a step away and placed her on lap. "Mommy," Nell kept whispering as she buried her face in Margie's chest, "Mommy."

"Nell," Margie echoed back, pulling out her blankets so they could go around them both, "Nell." As she held her daughter close she felt a warm feeling go through her, relief compiled with so much more. For the first time since this had started she felt like she might be okay, that there was light at the end of this dark tunnel.


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: Well, this is the end of the story, if you've made it this far I'd love to here what you think. I'm sorry it has taken so long to put together, what can I say life got in the way. I promised myself I'd finish this story though so here it is. The final part, it went though quite a few different versions but I think this covers all the points I wanted to say best. Thanks for reading.**

* * *

_Epilogue_

_Six months later_

Nell was the push Margie needed to heal, the doubt and fear, went away, she no longer questioned if dying would be easier, she didn't want to die, she wanted to get home. It took two more weeks before the doctors would let her leave the hospital, and once she was home she spent another month not doing much.

She'd thought once she was home things would be better but being home brought a whole set of new problems. Having her family around made things better but it wasn't the same as before, she was different and so was everyone else. She hadn't been naive enough to think it would all be the same but she wasn't prepared for how she was going to feel. The first time she stepped into her home brought back every moment of the attack, the new paint, new carpet couldn't stop the memories flooding her, and she had her first panic attack.

The first panic attack was by no means her last, she soon discovered there were lots of things which set her off, certain smells and loud noises were the worse but sometimes she just went off. Her family quickly got her into counselling, and slowly the attacks became less frequent, six months on they still hadn't gone away and neither had the nightmares.

Sleeping pills were the only way she could guarantee a whole night sleep, without them she'd wake up half the time screaming, or worse she'd wake to someone shaking her because she'd been screaming and couldn't wake up. She'd scared her children half to death a few times doing that, their faces instantly calmed her but she didn't like putting them through that. She didn't want to cause them harm, but when she was having a bad day they were the only thing which would make her better.

Her boys knew this; they quickly picked up on what she needed and knew how to make her better. They'd grown up so much and were mature beyond their years. She was proud of them, they made her happy but sometimes she felt like she'd taken something away from them. They'd witnessed something horrible and were no longer her sweet innocent little boys. Nikki's boys had changed too; Wayne had become fiercely protective of all the women in the house. He took it upon himself to take care of everyone, make sure everyone was safe. In the first few months it had been Wayne more than anyone else in the family who'd helped her process what had happened and move forward from it. Unlike all the adults in the house he'd been there, he'd felt the fear and violation of having their home invaded and unlike the rest of the boys he was old enough to understand it.

She laid a lot on him, at times she forgot he was only nine but he seemed to thrive on it, and like her there were some things which just needed to be said, laid out so that they could be packed away again. He'd been her shepherd in this, her guide back. She'd nominated him for a Children of Courage award and his brothers for recognition. They won out over other children across the state and received medals at an awards ceremony at the Governor's mansion. The whole family had attended that ceremony and she'd never been more proud to be a Henrickson.

That was one of the good things to have come out of the attack, one of the things which made Bill so sure it was all part of Heavenly Father's plan. Other good things were Bill's political agenda; the incident had given the family more positive publicity than anything else he could have dreamed up. People still didn't understand or agree with their lifestyle but they accepted that it was valid, that it could work, that they were happy. Bill used every grain of public sympathy to push his agenda; he had polygamy on the table in a real productive way that never would have happened otherwise.

Her public profile had also grown, Hearts on a Sleave had moved from its infomercial niche to be everywhere. It was making more money than she could have ever imagined, business was so good she'd had to hire someone to help her manage it. Professionally she was succeeding, she was making money, she was respected and when she wanted to say something people listened.

In some ways she had become everything she ever wanted to be. She was achieving her dreams but behind that there was still a scared young woman, which hadn't been there before. Since the attack she had done a lot of interviews with, newspapers, magazines, radio, television, one question which was often asked was 'if you could make it so it never happened would you?'. At first it was an easy question, that day and the weeks immediately following it were easily the worst time in her life. If she could make them never happen she would but as things had improved the answer had become grey.

She could see some of Bill's notion that this was all part of Heavenly Father's plan, that it was meant to happen. When Bill was asked the question he always answered no, even in the early days when it felt like nothing good could come of it, when she was still too scared to leave the house or even be left alone for a moment. Now though, things were good, she was in the light at the end of the tunnel, she was healing and she could see there was a world of possibilities for her and the family.


End file.
